This Life
by jenpall
Summary: After 12 years of marriage and four children, can Bella make Edward see what she so desperately needs? AH/AU
1. Chapter 1

Bella and Edward do not belong to me... but the rest is mine...

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I can't help but wonder how we got here… or how I got here.

I'm lying in our bed, crying. The kids are home from school, playing quietly in their rooms and all I can do is cry and feel overwhelmed by the anger I feel for my husband of almost 12 years.

I feel like it's all a mess and no matter what I do or how many times I clean it all up I always end up right back here… crying in our bed… angry… hurt… feeling alone.

Our eldest son walks into our messy room and I have to hide my face behind my hand so he doesn't see the tears that are pouring down my cheeks. Edward, Jr. looks just like his dad. He has his bronzy-red, crazy hair and startling green eyes, but he is just like me. He is quiet and observant and resilient. I know he sees me wipe the tears away from the corner of his eye. He asks a benign question and I answer calmly. He pauses for a moment, as if to ask me what's wrong and his younger brother, Nathaniel, walks into the room wondering what his big brother is up to. I look up at them these two brothers and they break my heart. They are so young… E is 11 and Nate is 6 and their dynamic is already so volatile. And I can't help feeling so responsible for all of it. They are so similar, so strong, and so perfect. But, it is these similarities that make them so difficult for one another to handle. At moments, they are like oil and water… they just don't mix. At other moments, they are like gasoline and a match, they explode violently involving everyone around them. But, today is a calm day. They know something is not right. They know I am upset.

Then there is Alexander, our second son. He looks just like his Mama and acts just like his Daddy. He has my chocolate brown eyes, my brown, curly hair and my smile. But, he is painfully oblivious to anyone's feelings but his own. Alexander is only 8 and he already walks through life with the same ease and grace as his father. He already has his charisma and charm. He's sitting in the loft with our youngest, Jason, watching cartoons. The get along so well, but that's what Alex does, he gets along with just about everyone. Jason is only 3 and he is an adorable child with the greatest sense of humor and he is just as amicable as Alex. I guess that's why they get along so well. If Alex and Jay were closer in age they could be twins. Jay looks just like Alex did at his age. He has his dark, curly hair and sweet smile. Their eyes are slightly different, Jay's are hazel, but that is really the only difference.

There are days when our children are the glue and days when they are the proverbial "line in the sand". And today I am pretty sure they will be what gets me through the day. I let the boys play the Ds' and watch cartoons, just to keep the peace. When I look at the clock it is only 4:30 and I just don't feel like getting up and trying to pull it all together, not yet.

I think I will order pizza tonight for supper. Why should I cook when no one cares? When my husband chooses to sit his ass on the computer rather than eat a hot meal. My stomach twists into another knot and I find myself, once again, in tears.

I'm so angry with Edward that I almost don't know where to start. When I think about it, it just fucking hurts. And then I feel melodramatic, because he's not really doing anything _that_ bad. He's not cheating on me or abusing me… he's just taking me granted. And frankly, I'm tired of it.

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a/n ... this is my fist attempt at this... please let me know what you think :-)


	2. Chapter 2

Bella and Edward are not mine… but they are fun to mess with…

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"Mommy…"

I roll to my left and see my baby boy standing in my doorway. He smiles as we make eye contact. His big brown eyes are twinkling and it touches my heart. I can't help but smile back at this beautiful little creature. "Yeah, Jay?"

"I'm hungry, Mommy."

He bounces into my room and stands beside my bed. He is a bundle of energy and I have kept him cooped up inside the house today while I wallowed in my own misery. I pull him up onto my bed and begin to tickle him. He squirms and giggles on my lap trying to get away, but not _really_ trying to get away. His laughter makes me realize that I need to get up. I pull him into a hug and kiss the top of his sweet little head. "Ok… let Mommy up, big boy."

"K, Mommy," he giggles and gets off my lap.

He's still smiling at me as I get out of bed and head to my bathroom. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I'm immediately pissed off again. I look like hell. My eyes are completely blood-shot and puffy and my hair looks like huge birds nest.

I am staring at myself in the mirror and I take a deep breath and tell myself, 'You are not the kind of girl that lies around and cries about this shit. Your kids need you. Get yourself together, get them dinner and make a plan."

I take another deep breath and then I wash and dry my face and pull a brush through my hair. I decide to throw it up into a pony tail just to keep it under control. I look back at myself and see that the improvement is minimal to say the least.

I go over to my closet and quickly change into my favorite fleecy black lounge pants and bright orange tank top. I am starting to feel the weight in my chest lift. I just have to get through until the kids are in bed and then I can think.

I walk out of my bathroom to find my bed empty. Jay must have run off to join his brothers. I leave our bedroom and find all four of the kids watching 'Sponge Bob' in the loft. E and Alex are sitting at the ends of the loveseat with Jay stuffed in the middle between the two. Nate is sitting on the floor in front of them. All four of them are completely enthralled in the obnoxious cartoon. E's sees me and immediately asks me my all time least favorite question… "Mom, what's for dinner?" That simple question I have heard every night for at least 7 years. Sometimes three or four times a night. It drives me insane. In the last year I have gone to writing it down on a calendar so the boys can look at it for the answer instead of asking me repeatedly. It was just one more bit of minutia that was wearing me down.

Instead of groaning and rolling my eyes like always do, I quickly come back with, "Pizza."

The boys break into a chorus of "Yay's" and "Cools".

I head downstairs to the kitchen and boot up my laptop so I can order pizza on-line. As I'm ordering our 3 large pizza's and 2- 2liters of soda, I find myself extremely relieved that I don't have to cook dinner and I'm not going to have to do dishes after dinner. While I am on my laptop I check my e-mail and find nothing too interesting. I shut my laptop and to the office to put my laptop back on my desk.

I take a look around Edward's office and I am immediately frustrated. I look at his over-sized, flat-screen monitor and I want to throw it out the window. He spends more time with that monitor than he does with me and his children. I quickly turn on my heel and slam the door behind me.

"Fuck," I mutter to myself under my breath. I hear my cell-phone chime and realize I haven't checked it all day. I head to the kitchen and find it in the bottom of my purse. I quickly checked my Pre and found that I had 6 texts from Edward.

_9:05 am: Good morning, baby. I hope u have a better day than yesterday. -E_

_12:14: Hey u! How's ur day going? U didn't answer when I called a little bit ago. -E_

_2:26: Where r u? Txt pls so I know u r ok…-E_

_4:50 If I don't hear from u in 10 Im calling the house -E_

_5:03 U didn't answer… where the fuck r u? -E_

_5:17 I'm on my way home… what the fuck is going on? -E_

I can't help but laugh. He's all pissed because I haven't answered a few texts. Whatever…

I checked the time… 5:20… The phone chirps again in my hand.

_5:20 Isabella… pls txt me… I'm worried… this isn't like u… -E_

I put my head in my hands because I just don't want to communicate with him at all. We haven't had a real adult conversation in days and I am tired of texting being our primary form of communication. But, I need to let him know that I am ok. So, I text him back.

_5:22 I'm fine. Phone was in purse. Sorry. –B_

My Phone rings before I can set it on the counter. I look at the screen and see a picture of my beautiful husband. I hesitate, take a deep breath and then answer the phone.

"Hey," I answer, trying to sound even.

"Bella, where have you been all day? I have been worried sick all afternoon." I can tell by his voice that he is frantic and that I have really worried him. We normally text throughout the day and talk on the phone around lunch time, but for the last two days I have been texting less and avoiding the lunchtime phone call.

"I guess I just forgot my phone in my purse after I dropped the kids at school. Sorry."

"Come on, Bella. That's just not like you. What's going on?" His voice was teetering between worry and anger and I knew I just didn't want to get into this on the phone.

I was trying not to cry, but when I went to answer him my voice cracked, "Can we just talk about it when you get home?"

"You're scaring me, Love," he whispered.

I couldn't hold back my tears, "I'm sorry," I whispered and hung up the phone.

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Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Edward or Bella... but I enjoy playing with them

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I sat my phone down on the counter and watched it immediately light up again with Edward's picture. I wiped the tears away that were falling down my cheeks and then texted my husband.

_5:36 I am ok. I just can't talk right now. See u soon. –B_

Within a minute Edward texted me back.

_5:37 u have me worried, Love. B home in 20. I love u so much. –E_

I set my phone down on the kitchen counter and walked away. The pizza would be here soon and if I was going to have this conversation with Edward tonight I needed to get my thoughts in order. I needed to make sure I was clear and concise about what our problems were and what my expectations of Edward were. I didn't want this to turn into a fight about other things that didn't really matter. Because that is what _always_ happens. Edward always turn our "discussions" into fights about off topic things or he turns whatever I say into a personal attack on him. When things disintegrate, I have to walk away to avoid the fight. I walk away because I don't want to say something hurtful that I might truly regret. He is the only person that can make me that angry. You see, Edward is a "right-fighter". He has to be right and will fight to the death in order to prove he is right. And I have just learned the fight is just not worth it anymore. It gets me nowhere. It's like beating your head against a wall, at best you come out with a terrible head ache.

The doorbell rings and I go and retrieve the pizza and bring it to the kitchen.

"Boys… time for dinner," I yell up the stairs to the kids.

I hear the kids come running down the stairs, jockeying for position as the run down. E, Alex and Nate dish up their pizza while I make Jays and get their soda. The kids settle in quickly at the table and begin eating. I sit down at the table with the kids and look at the clock.

Edward should be here in the next five minutes. I wonder if he is actually going to talk to me or will he be busy with his video game tonight. For the last few months all Edward has done is come home, head to the office to turn on his PC, after a few minutes he runs upstairs to change his clothes. He comes downstairs kisses my cheek and he heads back into the office for a little while until supper is ready. I tell him that supper is ready and at some point he makes his way to the table (normally supper is completely cold by then and the kids are all done eating). Then he heads back to the office plays some more. I get the kids ready for bed and send them in to kiss their Dad goodnight. Occasionally he helps tuck them in, but most of the time it's just me.

_It's always just me._

Nate's voice grabs my attention. He is yelling at E for staring at him. Nasty looks are exchanged and E makes a sarcastic remark.

"Boys, that's enough," I raise my voice just enough to get their attention.

"But…" E begins, but I cut him off before he can continue.

"But nothing," I look directly at E, "It doesn't matter what he said. You have to stop."

Nate smirks at E and I reach over and touch Nate's arm, "Nate," I begin calmly, "_you _have to stop, too."

At every single meal these two give each other grief about anything and everything. Sitting at the table with them has stopped the physical things from happening. But, they continue to verbally annoy one another. Sometimes it bleeds into the other children, but it is _always_ E and Nate.

Nate pulls his arm out of my hand, crosses his arms and begins to huff and puff.

I know if I begin to press him his behavior will disintegrate into something worse. He won't eat and he'll sulk. Then his father will come home and see his oppositional behavior and add to it by yelling or trying to make Nathan do something that he has already dug in his heels and decided he wasn't going to do. Edward and Nathan go round in circles with one another. Nathan is too similar to his Dad in that he is the only one who is right. Everyone else is wrong.

The sound of our garage door opening snaps me back to reality.

"Dad's home," Alex smiles. The kids all begin to squirm with excitement.

Edward enters the kitchen and sets his keys in the drawer. He stands there for a second placing his wallet and cell phone in their places as well. He turns to us and gives us his million dollar crooked grin, "Hey guys! How is everyone tonight?"

Edward makes his way over to the kitchen table as he is met with 'hey's' and 'good's' from the kids. He ruffles Nate's hair and leans down to kiss me. I look up into his green eyes and I can see he's worried. I offer a weak smile and he gently places his hand on my cheek and tenderly kisses my lips. I kiss him back and the boys all go "yuk" making us laugh. Edward shakes his head and then leans into my ear and whispers, "is my girl ok?"

I shake my head no and say, "I will live."

He pulls back and looks into my eyes, "Love," he begins but then he shakes his head, "you have to tell me…"

I pull away and look up, feigning a smile. I quickly cut him off, "later, ok?"

"Later." He nods, "I need to go change."

"Ok."

Edward gives my shoulder a squeeze and then proceeds to say hi to each of the boys and tickle one or the other and then ruffles this one's hair. These are the moments when I absolutely in love with my husband. When he is sweet and tender and the amazing husband and father that I know he can be. My heart begins to ache again. If he would just take the time to do this more often maybe things would be better. I need to think. I need to figure out where my, and by extension, our problems really lie.

He turns to go change and instead of going upstairs to change he heads to the office where I presume he will be turning on his computer. The kids finish their dinner and throw their paper plates in the trash. The kids and I clean off the table and the counters. E takes out the trash and I take the other boys upstairs for baths and to pick-up their toys before bed. Before I know it, it is 8:00pm and time for the kids to go to bed. I send them down to kiss their dad goodnight and they are back upstairs before I know it. I tuck them in giving them each a hug and a special good night kiss. Each of the boys have a slightly different version of a kiss, but it something special between them and me. E and I link pinkies on one hand and then we kiss our thumbs and then press our thumbs together. Alex and I link opposite pinkies on both hands with me crossing over, we shake our linked hands and he gives me a kiss. Nathan throws up the "I love you" signs with both hands and I do the same making all six of our fingers touch. Jason likes to do "beeps". We touch index fingers and say "beep" at the same time. After our nightly ritual the kids quickly settle in.

I head to my bedroom and grab paper and a pen and head back into the loft to make a list. I sit down on the love seat and begin to think about what has put me in this state of mind.

Edward's priorities: too much time on computer. Not enough with kids or myself.

The way Edward talk's to the kids.

Helping around the house

I think it is all pretty general. But I know that I need to be very clear and concise about what is bothering me and how we need to fix it or else it will turn into a major argument about anything other than what is the problem.

I peek into the kids rooms and they have all managed to fall asleep. I have had to sit in the loft on occasion to keep the kids from staying up late. At this point, I do it randomly just to keep them in check. They are asleep and I head downstairs to try and talk to Edward.

When I get to the office, Edwards' back is to the door and I can see he is playing WoW, again. I am on the verge of becoming a "World of Warcraft" widow and it just makes me angry whenever I see him playing that stupid game. I walk up behind him and put my hand on his shoulder. He leans back into my touch and I can't help but smile. No matter how angry we are with each other, whenever we touch one another it always puts us at ease. It's home.

"Hey Love," he starts, "kids in bed?"

"Yeah," I sigh, "how long you gonna be tonight?" I am trying to keep the mood light.

"Ummmm," he stalls and I know that's not a good sign. He looks back and up at me and smiles, trying to dazzle me with his best sexy-as-hell grin, "after we finish this raid I just have to do my daily's and then I will be done."

I narrow my eyes because I know this could easily be a three to four hour raid. It's never as simple as he says it's going to be. "Edward… we need to talk tonight." I pull my hand away.

"I know, I know… just give me a little bit and I will be right out."

With his last little statement I see red. "Give you a little bit?" I laugh. "Seriously?! You know as well as I do that it's going to take you more than 'a little bit' to do what you want to do."

He fists his hands in his hair in frustration, "FINE… I will finish this raid and we'll talk."

At this point, I don't stay in the room to find out what he says next. I grab my laptop on the way out and head up to my bedroom. Once again, Edward has chosen a video game over his wife and even his kids. He could have had dinner with us, but instead he was playing a video game. If it wasn't a fucking _daily_ occurrence I might be willing to overlook it, but I'm at my wits end.

I am practically raising these kids by myself. He doesn't really help with them at all. He doesn't help with anything I ask him to do without throwing a fit. I have the kids doing chores to help around the house under the guise of "you're a member of this household so you are going to help take care of this house." All four of the boys have asked me at one point or another, "What chores does Dad have to do?" They get it. Why doesn't he?

When Edward is forced to "help" parent the kids all he does is yell at them and then when that doesn't work he gets in their faces and cusses and screams at them. I don't know where this comes from. His parents never treated him like that. Why does he think that it is ok?

I am stomping up the stairs and I feel the weight of my world on my shoulders. I feel like it's all my responsibility… the house… the kids… my marriage… my happiness.

Whether we make it or not… it's ALL on me!

I slam my bedroom door behind me and plop down on my bed, once again, in tears.

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Thank you for reading. This is my first attempt at this... please let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

a/n: This is my first lemon... with a little transition thrown in as well...

I do not own Edward and Bella... but I really like them very, very much...

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The next thing I remember is waking up under my blanket in a pitch black bedroom. I look over at the alarm clock on Edward's side of the bed and am relieved to see Edward blocking my view. At least he came to bed tonight and didn't fall asleep downstairs on the couch. I sit up and look at the clock… 4:47am. I notice the alarm had not been set and crawl over the top of my husband and lean over to turn on the alarm. As I pull back I feel his arms wrap around me holding me in place, against his chest. I try to push away, but he won't let me go.

"Edward," I whisper. He leans his head up and kisses my throat and then my chin. I can't help myself, as angry as I have been over the last few days, all I want to do was be with the man I love. I tilt my head down crushing his lips with my own. His hands find their way to my hair and he begins to push and pull, guiding my face where he wants it to be. His mouth finds my neck where he begins nibbling and sucking until he reaches the spot where my shoulder meets my neck, knowing that caressing that spot would completely dissolve any reservations I may have had. He was playing me perfectly, making me want him.

One hand releases my hair and comes to sit on my shoulder. His fingers began tracing the edge of my tank, running firmly down and around my back and then as light as a feather when he reaches the front. After the first circuit, when his fingers come to the top of my breast I lean into his hand, seeking more friction. He smiles against my lips and sighs, "What do you want Isabella?"

"You, baby, I want you," I whisper and grind myself against him.

He kisses me again and then pulls back, "Yes, I can tell that you want me," he nips at my collar bone, "but what do you _really_ want right now, right this second?"

"God, baby…" My forehead falls to his shoulder. I turn my face so my lips are against his ear, "I want you to show me how much you love me." I feel a tear fall from my eye, "I need to feel it, baby, please," I beg.

He slowly rolls us onto our sides and then he kisses me gently. "Anything for you, my love," he whispers in turn. He kisses me again, this time he deepens the kiss as he wraps me tightly in his arms. He slows the kiss and pulls back. He sits up in the bed and asks me to do this same. Once he has me sitting up in front of him, he places his long, lean legs on either side of me. He rests his forehead against mine while his hands ghost up my arms, to my shoulders, up my neck, causing me to shiver, before eventually stopping on each side of my face. I feel him lean back and I looked up into his eyes. "I love you Bella, so much," he sighs and then, before I could answer, he kisses me again.

As he kisses me his hands make their way to the bottom hem of my tank. His fingers begin to trace around the waist of my pants tickling me and making me squirm against him in the process. He smiles against my lips, amused at my predictable reaction. His hands snake under my shirt and then he gently pulls it up over my head. His mouth begins to make its' way down my neck to my chest where he begins teasing me through my bra. I reach down to pull his shirt over his head as he reaches behind me to undo my bra. He pulls me to him, crushing me into his chest and sighs into my hair, "You are so beautiful." I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his sweet mouth. It is so easy to get lost in him when he is being so adoring and attentive.

He pushes away from me slightly and begins to pepper my chest with nips and kisses. I arch my back granting him easier access to my chest. When he gets to my breasts I lift my legs over his so that I am almost straddling him. Once he begins to lick and _..god._ nibble and _.._ suck, I am lost. I want him so badly that I am panting and my body is aching for him to do more. I need more. I push myself forward so that our centers are perfectly aligned giving me just enough friction. But, it's really not enough and I grind down harder needing _more_.

Edward groans against my breast and I know that he wants more, too. He picks me up and lays me back down on the bed. His lips find mine and our kisses become more heated and even more intense. He finds his way over to my ear, where he breathes, "I love you," sending chills down my spine. He kisses down my neck, to my shoulder and then across my collar bone. He makes his way down to my chest and lingers for a moment, teasing one nipple with his mouth while rolling the other between two fingers. He's only there for a moment before he continues to kiss his way down my body. He lingers around my navel and then sits up between my legs. Edwards' eyes meet mine and he smiles, "You are…. So…," he shakes his head and then his hands reach up to the waistband of my pants as he asks, "Lift?" I quickly oblige and raise my hips. As he pulls my pants away from my hips he place a kiss on each hip bone and then at the top of my sex. My hips buck forward and I become _very_ aware of the throbbing between my legs. He continues to leisurely pull my pants down my legs placing sporadic, wet kisses on my newly exposed skin. Edward shifts for a moment as he, not only finishes removing my pants, but takes his off as well. The cool air, and the loss of my very hot husband, raises goose bumps on my body causing me to shiver against the bed.

In an instant, Edward is naked and back beside me on our bed. He begins kissing the crook of my elbow as one of his hands finds my breast. He begins to tease me with his hand as he works his way up my arms to my neck. His hand begins to trail its' way down my stomach. He teases around my navel and then heads further down, tickling as he goes. His fingers gently stroke my engorged lips and I gasp.

"Love, you are so wet," he says into my ear. He gently bites down on my ear lobe and I push myself against his hand.

"Please, baby?" I whine. I want him so badly that I am on the verge of begging. I arch against him and his fingers slip inside me while his thumb brushes my clitoris.

"Yes, okay, Love." He hovers over me, positioning his body between my legs. He leans down and kisses me. I feel him begin to push into me and I moan. He absorbs my moan with his mouth and tongue. I push up with my hips wanting all of him. Our movements are slow and steady and they feel so good. He leans back onto his knees and lifts me up by hips so that my butt is off the bed. He knows that this angle will send me over the edge, but he ensures this by stroking my clit with his thumb. I can feel it building and I move my hips against his, pushing myself over the edge. I begin to shake and writhe against him and he holds me up keeping us together.

I open my eyes to see Edward looking down at me. He smiles and I smile back, as I try to catch my breath. "I love making you cum," he says with his crooked-grin plastered on his face.

"I love it when you make me," I joke back. I reach up and stroke his scruffy cheek, "I love you."

"I love you, too." He shifts and leans forward and kisses me. He begins to move again, slowly at first and then the next thing I know he has rolled us over so that I am sitting astride my beautiful husband. I look down at him and I can't help but smile. His hair is a disheveled mess, his green eyes are sparkling and his defined chest is damp with sweat. He's the epitome of sexy.

I lean down and kiss him and begin moving my hips against his. It feels so good. His hands are on my hips helping guide my motions. I sit up and keep moving against him and I know it won't take me long. One of his hands comes between my legs and works my clit while the other teases a nipple. And that's all it takes to make me cum, again. While I spasm around him, he thrusts up into me reaching his climax.

I fall down against his chest and he wraps his arms around me. He rolls us onto our sides and we fall asleep together. Completely in love and satisfied with one another… at least in this moment.

The alarm goes off too soon. It's 7:00am and I could really use a couple more hours of sleep. The kids' alarms start going off and I pull myself up and out of bed. I look over and saw that Edward was already gone. I don't even remember him leaving. I must have been exhausted.

I get dressed. I get the kids moving. We go downstairs. They eat breakfast, brush their teeth and hair and then head off to school. Jason wakes up and comes downstairs. We have breakfast together. Today is Friday and today I clean the bathrooms and vacuum the entire house. Jason follows my upstairs as I tow the vacuum up behind me. He sits in the loft and begins watching cartoons. I start on our bathroom and am immediately disgusted by Edwards' facial hair that is scattered all over the sink and counter. It's just one more thing that I have to clean up _every single week_. It's just one more thing that I have to take care of that isn't a mess that has anything to do with me. UGH! I begrudgingly clean up the hair and then finish the rest of the room. When I get to the kids bathroom I am absolutely disgusted by how filthy they are. I bite the bullet and get it done, cussing at every turn along the way. After I finish the bathrooms, I vacuum the bedrooms and the loft and then head downstairs for lunch. Jason and I eat and then I continue cleaning, first the half-bath and then vacuuming the other rooms.

I finish in plenty of time to take a few minutes for myself. I make up a cup of tea and turn on the TV. I feel better today and I have in the last week and I want to figure out why… Edward was sweet yesterday. He was sweet with kids and sweet with me. He hadn't made love to me like that in quite some time. I honestly couldn't remember the last time it was that tender and that sweet and was all about me. I realize that he has once again, he has dazzled me with his charm and a sweet look. He came home, yesterday, and played the computer rather than eat supper with his family. When I asked him to come and talk to me he refused and continued to play the computer. All he did was just pay a little more attention and even that was at his convenience. I shake my head in frustration. I head to the kitchen for my cell phone and see that I missed his lunch-time call and I decide to call him back.

"Hello, love," he answers.

"Hey, Baby. How's your day going?"

"Good so far. You sound better today, how's your day been?" he asks.

"I cleaned the bathrooms, which was absolutely disgusting."

"Fun…"

"Yeah, right. Do we have anything going on tonight?" I ask.

"Nope," he answers.

"Well, we need to talk to night." There is a noticeable pause on his end of the line.

"Ummmm... Why don't we go out to dinner tonight?"

"Who can we get to watch the kids on this short of notice?" I know that if we go out to dinner we won't really talk and that he's trying to get out of talking to me.

I hear him sigh, "Let me call my Mom and see if she can take them for the night."

"Oh, ok." Maybe we _will_ get a chance to talk.

"Let me go and I will call you after I talk to her."

"Ok… love you."

"Love you, too."

We hang up and I decide to head up to my room and drink my tea. The kids will be home soon and I just need a few minutes to myself. Jason is still in the loft, but now he's looking at books while cartoons play across the TV. He's such an easy going little guy.

My cell phone chimes and I look to see that it is a text from Edward.

_2:36 Mom said she'd come and get the kids around 4 –E_

I text him back

_2:37 K –B_

The kids will be excited. They haven't spent the night at the Grandparents house in a month or so. I sit down in my chair and finish my tea. It only takes me a few minutes and then I head to Jay's room to pack him a bag for the night. The older boys can do theirs when they get home.

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a/n: We get to meet Esme in the next Chapter... and maybe e and b will have a "real" conversation... who knows?!

So, how was the lemon? Let me know what you think?

Thanks for reading! :-)


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own Edward and Bella... but I do own a copy of New Moon on DVD ;-)

a/n: sorry this update was slower than the last... RL just got in the way...

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The kids come in the front door and I tell them to hurry up and get their stuff together their "Nana" will be here to pick them up in a little bit. They all run upstairs excited. I follow behind to help keep the chaos that could ensue from happening. Once everyone is packed they bring their bags to the front door. They are so excited that they can barely contain themselves. So, I send them outside to play.

It's 3:30 when I hear a knock on the front door. I answer, not at all surprised to see Esme standing at the front door.

I open the door with a smile on my face, "Hi, Mom."

She smiles back and steps inside to give me a hug, "Hi, Bells."

I have known Esme for over 20 years now and she has been more of a mother to me than my own. And in the last few years she has become one of my closest friends and confidants. We easily begin chatting about the kids and how their school is going.

"So," she begins staring directly in my eyes, "why haven't I heard from you this week?"

"Well, I, ummmm…" I stutter.

"You, ummm? What in the hell does that mean? You majored in English, Bella, I know you are more articulate than that!"

I'm stunned that she is calling me out, "Well, damn," I giggle, "Did I miss a lunch date or something?" It's not like she and I talk _every_ week. I really don't understand why she is coming at me so aggressively.

"Well, I tried to call you and you never called back. When I talked to Alice she said that she tried to take you to lunch and you told her 'no'. The only person you have talked to all week was Rosalie and she said that was only for a little bit because you didn't realize it was her when she called." She paused for a second and put her hand on my arm, "So, what's going on Isabella?"

Damn, I'm in trouble she called me Isabella!

"Mom, I…" I wasn't sure where to begin, "I am having trouble with just about _everything_ right now. I feel overwhelmed and underappreciated," I pause as the tears begin to fall.

Esme reaches down and takes my hand into hers and whispers, "oh, sweet girl." I am looking down into my lap because I can't bring myself to look up and see that she is disappointed with me. I'm not supposed to feel this way. I am supposed to have it all under control. That's what moms do, right?

"I am trying so hard. I am still editing from home _and_ trying to write. I am trying to stay on top of the house and the kids and everything that goes along with all of it. And I am doing it All. By. Myself." I felt better saying it out loud, but at the same time I felt guilty.

"Bella, look at me," Esme pled. I slowly raised my eyes to meet hers, "_You_ are doing a great job." She squeezed my hand, "You have a beautiful home, four beautiful children, a husband that loves and adores you AND you have been able to maintain your career while working from home and I know for a fact that's not easy." She smiled, making me smile in return.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Bella, the unfortunate thing about being a wife and mother is there are times when it is the most thankless job in the world. Everyone just expects so much and we tend to feel like we are letting them down when we say no or if we let things go for a moment. When was the last time you did anything for yourself?"

"I really… I can't really remember," I sighed and Esme shook her head slightly.

"Bella, you need to take time for yourself."

"Yeah, I know. It's just easier said than done."

"Bella," Esme's voice became slightly softer, "have you talked to Edward about how you are feeling?"

I shook my head no.

"WHY IN THE HELL NOT?"

Esme's sudden change in demeanor startled me. "Well, I've tried, but it just hasn't happened."

"Listen to me," her expression was serious, "you have to talk to your husband about what is going on with you. If you don't tell him, he can't do whatever it is you need him to do. And if you don't get what you need you will begin to resent this life that the two of you have created for yourselves, trust me, I know."

"Wha, what?" The last four words rang in my ears making my head throb, "Did you…?"

Esme nodded and then continued, "Yes, I have been where you are and no one was there to help me, to tell me that this was a normal part of being married and having children. And there was no one there to help guide me back, I had to figure it all out by myself or rather Carlisle and I had to figure it out by ourselves."

"But you and Carlisle are so…"

"So, _what_, Bella?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"So, _perfect_. You guys are what we all measure ourselves against."

Esme shook her head again, "We are far from perfect. But, we work very hard at making one another happy."

"Can you tell me how you guys got through it?" I asked.

"Sure… I always thought it started after I had Alice, but after thinking about it, our problems really started shortly after we were married. Carlisle was working those crazy intern hours and was seldom home and I was working as personal assistant in my Uncle's design firm. We were having a really hard time _making_ time for one another and when I would say something about it, Carlisle would just brush it off and say it would get easier soon. He would tell me to be patient that it would get better, that I would, 'get used to being a Doctor's wife'. I tried being understanding, after all, he was my husband and I was _supposed_ to." She smiled and then shook her head.

"So, if he wasn't going to be home I decided to start working more and eventually I was offered an internship, which upon successful completion, I would be given a position within the firm. Then, about 4 months into the internship, I fell ill. It started out as the stomach flu and then because I wasn't able to keep anything down, I had no energy. It took me two or three months of feeling absolutely terrible to finally convince myself to go to the doctor and by the time I went I had lost 20 pounds that I didn't really have to lose. The Doctor took one look at me and asked me if I was pregnant. I had to laugh, because to get pregnant you had to have sex, right? And Carlisle and I hadn't had sex for at least 4 months. He had been working so much and I had been so frustrated with not seeing him that I was conveniently unavailable to him. So, the Doctor runs the test and then tells me that I am pregnant. I am completely shocked and Carlisle is completely overjoyed. The pregnancy was so rough on my body that I had to give up my internship and I end up on bed-rest for the last 3 months of the pregnancy. I was miserable. Being pregnant was supposed to be an exciting time, instead I felt so god awful through the entire thing that I swore I was never doing it again."

"My labor and delivery really wasn't that difficult and I was just absolutely relieved to _not_ be pregnant anymore. Emmett was a good baby and all, but I wasn't happy about being at home with him. When I talked to Carlisle about going back to work, he scoffed at the idea and said it was 'unnecessary' and that, 'I needed to be a _good_ mother and stay home with the baby.' I don't think he realized how badly his words had hurt me. I think it took him years to realize that, that one _innocent_ comment drove a wedge between the two of us. "

"Well, I stayed home with Emmett and tried to '_be_ _a good Mommy_'. The Mommy thing was easy, but keeping the house frustrated me to no end. It felt like I would get everything cleaned up and then Carlisle would come behind me, make a mess and not bother to clean it up. It was frustrating to say the least. Carlisle and I would fight about his bad habits and then he would pull out the, 'I work all day and all I want to do is come home and relax with you and my son,' card. Basically, guilt tripping me into submission. So, I let it go. Shortly after Emmett turned one I found out I was pregnant with Edward. I was not thrilled, but being pregnant with Edward was easier and I didn't end up have the issues that I had with Em's pregnancy. And then Alice's pregnancy was even easier than Edward's. But, after having Alice I decided that having three children was enough. Carlisle wanted one more, but I put my foot down and got my tubes tied."

"By the time Alice turned 3, I had grown very bitter. Carlisle was still working crazy hours and expecting me to take care of the kids and the house all by myself. I was overwhelmed by two very active boys and Alice, well, she was just into _everything_. And I was just sick of all of it… sick of feeling like a single parent… sick of feeling like a housekeeper… sick of feeling like I had absolutely nothing to myself, nothing that was my own… and just really sick of being taken for granted by my husband and by my kids."

I couldn't believe my ears. Esme had gone through exactly what I was going through now. And they made it through it. Carlisle and Esme are one the happiest couples I had ever met in my entire life. "So, what did you do? How did you fix it?" I asked.

"Well," she laughed, "I kind of blew it all to hell before I was able to figure out that I really wanted to fix it."  
"What?" I asked incredulously.

"At first, on the nights that Carlisle would work late, I started drinking. And by the time Carlisle would get home I would either have passed out or would be too drunk to remember him coming home. But, according to him we would fight about the drinking and where he had been and then we would have make up sex and he would let it go. After that failed to keep his attention, I got really drunk one night and went to the hospital looking for him. You see I had convinced myself that he was having an affair and I was going to catch him."

"What made you think he was cheating?"

"Well, there were a few things… I knew from talking to other Doctors' wives that there were some hospital functions that we had been invited to and he had never told me about them, which was really odd considering how social we had always been before we had children. And then after talking to one of my really close friends, whose husband worked the same rotations as Carlisle, I was told that our husbands were now working a completely different rotation than what Carlisle had been saying he was working. Initially, I was stunned at what she was saying. I asked her why she thought Carlisle would lie to me and she just gave this look and I remember feeling like I was going to throw up. I asked her if she thought he was screwing around and she just nodded yes. I started crying and cursing. I think if it had been _anyone else_ who had told me I would have balked at the idea. But, Kate had always been a wonderful friend and we had even had one of those conversations about what we would do if we caught our husbands cheating AND what we would do if we had caught each others' husbands cheating. So, she felt she was betraying me by _not_ letting me know what was going on." Esme paused for a moment and then stood up, "I need a glass of water." She walked over and pulled a glass out of the cabinet and then filled it from the refrigerator door.

Once again, I was stunned. I couldn't wrap my mind around any of this. I just couldn't reconcile what I knew of them with what she was telling me.

Esme made her way back to the table and took her seat. We looked at one another and I offered her a weak smile. She smiled in return, "Bella, I know this sounds awful, but it got better."

"I know," I whispered.

"The reason I am telling you all of this is because I want to help you. I want you and my son to learn from our struggles."

"I get that Esme. I really do. So," I took a deep breath, "what happened when you went to the hospital?"

"Well, Carlisle was supposed to be working in the ER so it was relatively easy to find him. One of the nurses behind the desk recognized me and asked me to wait while she paged him. I don't remember what I said exactly but it I know I laughed at whatever she said to me about waiting and then I told her something to the effect of 'I know he's here and not on the clock, so just point me to where he's fucking her'." Esme smiled and laughed to herself and I couldn't help but laugh with her. "Yeah, that nurse's jaw about hit the floor, it was pretty funny in hindsight, but at the time I was too pissed to care. She just pointed down a hall and said 'that way'. So, I headed 'that way' and found myself at the end of the hall in front of a staff room. I heard some giggling from behind the door and then I heard Carlisle's voice and then more giggling. I went to open the door and noticed that it was the kind of door that had a small window that ran vertically down the door over the knob. I took a deep breath and looked through the window only to see Carlisle with his arms wrapped around a younger version of me… I swear she looked just like me, we even had the same color hair… he was leaning down resting his forehead against hers. And I tell you what… in that split second I had never felt so many emotions… I was jealous, nauseas, heart-broken and then I was absolutely _livid_. I opened the door and stepped inside as they looked up and Carlisle's happy little face quickly fell to panic, almost as quickly as his hands flew away from her hips. She looked at me and then back at him and then quickly left the room. I asked him what the hell he was doing and he said I 'nothing'. And that's really all I remember of our conversation. I know I told him not to bother coming home because he wasn't welcome and he didn't. We didn't see each other or speak to each other for a week. I knew he had been going to work, because Kate had let me know. She also let me know that he had been staying with the medical student I had caught him with."

"Fucker," I sighed in disgust.

"Yeah, I know. So, I somehow managed to calmly begin getting my life in order. Emmett and Edward were both in Elementary school, so I put Alice in day care so I could get a job. I called my Uncle at the design firm that I had interned at and explained what had happened and he immediately hired me to be his Personal Assistant. He was even nice enough to make sure my salary covered all of my living expenses." Esme laughed again, "Although I really wasn't sure what I was going to do about Carlisle, everything else just seemed to fall into place. So, a month rolls by and Emmett finally asks me about where his Dad is and I say 'he's at the hospital'. Emmett just nods and goes about playing in the yard with Edward. I decide at that point that I need to try and figure out my marriage, but I really had no idea where to start. Kate gave me the name of a marriage counselor that she had heard was good and I went. My counselor was wonderful. She helped me figure out that I still loved Carlisle and that I needed to talk to him to see where we stood and if he wanted to try and work things out. Well, I called him at the hospital and told him I wanted to get together and talk about us and he asked why. I told him that I still loved him and we had a marriage and children and we needed to try and work things out. And guess what he told me?"

"I have absolutely no idea," I shook my head.

"You're right. You don't," she giggled, while shaking her head, "the bastard actually told me that there was nothing left to say. That he was happy where he was and he guessed we should move ahead with getting divorced."

"What?" I gasped, "I can't believe he would say that."

"Well, he did. He absolutely crushed me when he said that. All I could do was say ok and then I hung up. I went to work that day and told my Uncle what had happened and then my Uncle made a phone call to a buddy of his, who just happened to be one of the best lawyers in the state, and I had divorce attorney, free of charge. Within the week, I met with the lawyer, who laughed at Carlisle's stupidity. 'You see,' my lawyer told me, 'having a very public open affair was going to benefit me when the time came to finalize everything.' At the time I couldn't possibly see how. It still just hurt so, bad. I continued going to therapy and I began figuring out how I became so miserable and why and then I started working on moving forward."

"And then, about five months into 'hammering out' the details of the divorce, I went out to dinner with Kate and she ended up not showing because one of her kids was sick. So, I decided to go ahead and eat by myself since I already had a babysitter. And that's what I did, I had a glass of wine, ate my dinner, had dessert and just really enjoyed being by myself. And that's when I knew I could do whatever I needed to. With or without Carlisle, with or without a man, I could do it. But here is the kicker… when I asked the waiter for my check he told me that it had already been taken care of. I asked by whom, and he pointed toward a man at the bar who was sitting with his back to me. I had never, _ever_, had anyone do anything like that for me and I wanted to say thank you. So, I made my way to the gentleman at the bar and as I approached him, I knew immediately that it was Carlisle who was sitting there. I took a deep breath, steeled myself and then bellied up to the bar on the stool right next to him. He hadn't noticed me sitting next to him until the bartender asked me if I wanted a drink. I just shook my head no and looked over at Carlisle, who had finally looked up and saw me. He looked awful. His eyes were blood-shot and he had the darkest rings under them that I had ever seen and his normally beautiful clothes were rumpled and messy. I asked him if he was ok and he offered me a weak smile and said no. He asked me how I was and I told him I was fine. He told me that I was beautiful and that he realized he made a huge mistake. We talked until the bar closed. He agreed to go to counseling with me and we would put a hold on the divorce proceedings, but remain separated, until the counselor could help us figure our mess out."

"How long did it take?" I interrupted, "to get it figured out?"

"It took us three months to get back to a point where I wanted him back in our house. But, it took us another six months of regular visits to our counselor before I was really ready to tell the lawyers to drop it. We came to several compromises in that time: I kept my job, we hired a maid to help around the house, Carlisle was home more, and we had also decided that Carlisle would work towards having his own practice so he would no longer be at the hospital's mercy when it came to his hours. I forgave him, but I still had a hard time trusting him. That actually took years of his exemplary behavior and now I trust him implicitly."

"Wow, Mom, I can't believe that any of that happened. You guys are just so happy now."

"We work hard at it, honey. It's not easy," she smiled.

"I know… I just don't know how to get us back to where we need to be."

"Well, I think you need to talk to him and let him know how you are feeling. Try to let him know what you need. You guys have figured it out for the last 12 years. Just try and talk to him and if you can't figure it out you can always try counseling. My son loves you and the boys. I know he'll do whatever he can to make you happy."

"Thanks, Mom. I am gonna try and talk to him tonight at dinner. I think if we talk in public we are less likely to get pissy with one another."

"I think it's a good start." She looked over at the clock and then stood up, "its 4:40, I think I need to get the boys and get going."

I stood up with her and she gave me a big hug. "I love you, Bella. Please call me if you need to talk."

"I will," I whispered as I squeezed her back.

We pulled away and then called the boys back into the house. They were so excited to see their Nana that they almost tackled her to the floor. She handled them all very well and re-focused them to their bags that were sitting by the front door. I followed the crew and demanded hugs and kisses that they willingly gave me before piling in Nana's SUV. She gave me another hug and whispered "Good luck". I smiled and waved as they pulled away.

I turned and headed back into the house, still in awe of the woman who had just left me house. I knew I needed to talk to Edward and just put it all out there so we could deal with it, figure it out and move on. But, there was a part of me that was scared to death that we would do exactly what his father had done and would leave. That he wouldn't be willing to do what I so desperately needed, that I wouldn't be worth it.

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a/n: well there's Esme's story... what did you think?

Thanks for reading! Please press that little green button and let me knwo what you think 3


	6. Chapter 6

I do not own Edward or Bella...

a/n: Yes, Carlisle cheated... a long time ago... they went to therapy and learned how to do better. I didn't go into all the details, because it wasn't the point. Bella got the point... if Esme and Carlisle could get through that, then certainly Edward and Bell could get through this... right?

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As I make my way back inside, I pause inside the foyer and lean back against the closed door. I can't help but think of what Esme has said and about some of the things she hasn't. Questions sprang to my mind about the other woman, about how Esme could forgive Carlisle and learn to trust him again and about how they managed to make their way to where they are now. I find myself filling with a hope I hadn't felt in weeks. If they could make their way through _that_ then surely we could get through _this_. I push off the door and head to the kitchen to grab my phone.

I send a quick text to Esme: _4:43- Thanks, Mom. You have helped me more than you know. 3 you! – B_

I put the dishes that have been dirtied throughout the day in the dishwasher and am surprised when my phone chimes back a couple of minutes later.

_4:45- wlcm…tlk to u tmrw. –mom_

I notice that I have received an earlier text from Edward asking me how my day was going and I decide to txt back.

_3:45- B- how's it going? U ready 2 b rid of the hoodlums? __- E_

_4:47- E- Kids r with ur mom __Where r we going 2nite? –B_

_4:49- B- have a 7:30 reservation The Bistro –E_

He knows The Bistro is my favorite restaurant. The food is always perfect there and the ambiance is very private and romantic. I know that he is making an effort to do something nice for me, something that he knows I will love.

_4:52- E- can't wait! What time r u leaving work? –B_

_4:54- B- ASAP. Just have 2 finish this doc and I will b out the door. __-E_

_4:56- E- b safe. Love you- B_

_4:57- B- I love you __-E_

I feel myself grinning from ear-to-ear. I run up the stairs telling myself "I can do this. We are going to be fine. I can do this. We are going to be fine." It becomes my mantra as I pick out my clothes. I decide on my favorite pair of black jeans, a royal blue cashmere sweater and my black ballet flats. I will be comfortable and Edward will absolutely love the color and softness of the sweater. I grab some 'power lingerie' out of the drawer, a black lace bra and matching boy shorts, and head toward the shower with a little pep in my step.

As I shower, I begin to think of what I really need from my husband. I definitely need more help around the house. Not with the kids per se, but with the housework. When I began editing after Jason was born I only spent 10-15 hours a week on it. But, now that he was older, I had taken on more and was easily putting in 35-50 hours a week depending on what they sent my way. And with the spare time I had left I chose to spend it with the kids rather than clean all the time, because to keep up with the messes around our house, you have to clean _all of the time_. So, I need help around the house. He will love that… yeah right. I need him to spend more time with the kids and me. We need more family time. That means less computer time. It's not that I don't think he shouldn't play at all. He needs to learn to balance his family with PC.

I need him to be the loving husband and father that he had shown he could be over the last few days.

For some reason, today it all seemed so simple. Why was I so frustrated? It seemed kind of silly now. I had just let it build and build to the point it was overwhelming me. I had tried to talk to Edward weeks ago, but I was once again put aside for the computer. But, I had allowed it. I never stood my ground and made him listen. I just let myself get pushed aside.

As I get out of the shower, I wonder when I let that start happening. At what point had I stopped standing up for what I needed? I search my mind trying to pinpoint the moment, but I can't. Even if I couldn't find the exact moment, I knew that it had to change. I had to start standing up for myself and my kids like I used to. Edward fell in love with me when I was mouthy and obnoxious. He knew what he was getting into when he married me, right?!

I towel off and began my normal after shower ritual. I check the time and am relieved to see that it is only 5:37. I still have plenty of time to get ready. I decide to straighten my hair for the night and begin drying my hair. About half-way into the process, I am startled to see my husbands' reflection in my mirror. He is sitting on the side of the tub with his arms folded, wry grin in place watching me blow-dry my hair in nothing but my 'power lingerie'. After I pull my heart out of my throat, I shut of my blow dryer and turn to face him, with a smile on my face.

"Hey, you startled me," I giggle.

"I'm sorry. I was just enjoying the view." He stands up and then I realize he was only wearing his boxer-briefs. I can't help but appreciate my husband physique. My eyes linger on his well-defined chest and then down to his beautifully toned abs. I can't help but bite my bottom lip at the sight of him straining against his boxers. He takes a step towards me, and my gaze quickly makes its' way back to his handsome face. His face grows serious and then he asks, "Do you like what you see, Love?"

My face burns in embarrassment and I feel my blush literally creep down my neck to my chest. I nod a yes as he makes his way to stand in front of me. He runs a hand up my thigh and then rests it on my hip. "How was your day?" he asks as he just barely kisses the tip of my nose. His other hand runs up my arm, giving me chills.

"It was fine," I whisper, as the hand that was moving up my arm continues its way across my shoulder to my neck.

"Just fine?" he whispers back and then kisses my cheek and pulls me tight against his body, wrapping the hand that was on my hip completely around my back.

"mmmmhmmmm…"is all that I can muster. The way he is looking at me and the way he was touching me is too much. He is short-circuiting my brain and all I can think about is feeling him _everywhere_. I wind one of my hands around his neck and then around his waist, mirroring his hold on me.

He places a feather-light kiss on my lips and then rests his forehead against mine. We were looking into each other's eyes when he whispers, "Love, if I don't step away and get in that shower, we won't be going to dinner tonight." He smiles and I can't help but giggle.

He pulls away, but not before kissing me again. This kiss is not sweet, but it is full of fire. His mouth is hard on mine and his tongue immediately probes my open mouth. His hands grip me harder, squeezing the flesh on my hip while the other hand winds itself into the hair at the back of my neck. I pull away panting and look up to see Edward's eyes blazing. "I'm getting in the shower now," he smiles.

"Ok," I whisper as he pulls away. He turns his back to me and I watch him take off his boxers, admiring his perfectly tone ass as he steps into the shower stall. I can see that he is still _very_ happy to see me as he turns to turn the shower on.

"Bella…" he laughs in a teasing voice.

"Yeah?" I ask, shaking my head.

"Don't you need to finish getting ready?"

"Ummmm, yeah," I smile, "I guess I am just a little distracted."

I finish blow-drying my hair and manage to get dressed before he finishes in the shower. I am in the middle of applying my make-up when he walks past me to go get dressed. Once he is dressed in a pair of perfectly distressed jeans, a black cotton button-down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a pair of black, low-top chucks, he comes back into the bathroom to finish getting ready. He looks over at me, his green eyes sparkling, and winks, "you almost ready?"

I nod and smile, "yuPPP… just need to grab my purse and I will be ready to go."

"We have a little time before our reservation. Would you like to stop somewhere and get a drink?" he asks.

"Yeah, that would be nice," I can't keep from smiling as I head out of the bathroom, through our bedroom and down the stairs.

It had been so long since Edward and I had gone out on actual, get dressed up and have drinks and no kids, kind of date. And I truly am excited and looking forward to having a great time with my handsome husband. He is being very attentive and I know it is due to my despondency over the last couple of weeks. And I can't help but be encouraged by the fact that he is _trying_. I hope that it will bleed over into him being willing to make a few changes that would benefit our family.

I walk into the kitchen, still thinking encouraging thoughts, trying to stay positive and psyched up. I have to talk to Edward tonight. I grab my purse and make sure I have everything I could possibly need. I am lost in thought when Edward sneaks up behind me and wraps his hands around my waist, making me startle back into his chest.

"Oh," I gasp as he nuzzles my neck with his nose, "what is it with you startling me so much today?"

He laughs behind me, "I dunno. I just can't keep my hands off of you and I think you are just a tad distracted, too."

"Yeah," I turn to face him, "I am." I lean up to my tip-toes and give him a quick peck on the lips. I pull back and ask, "You ready to go?"

He smiles against my lips and sets me back down onto the ground, "yeah, let's get out of here."

He takes my hand and leads me to the front door and out to the passenger side door of his shiny, silver Volvo. He opens the door for me and then closes it once I am settled into me seat. He quickly runs around to his side and slides into the car. As we pull away from the house I can't help but notice a smile splay across his lips as he reaches over to hold my hand.

"You seem happy about something," I state.

He looks over at me and nods, "Well, yeah. It's not every day that I get to take my beautiful wife out for drinks and dinner." He lifts the back of my hand to his lips where he places a single sweet kiss.

We drive in relative silence, only making generic comments here or there about traffic and the weather as we make our way to the bar. I know we are heading to his brother's bar which just happens to be on the way to _The Bistro_. Emmett h opened _Rosie's_ shortly after he and Rosalie were married 7 years ago. It is a nice little jazz club that is fairly intimate and always has wonderful music.

As we enter the bar, we are greeted by the doorman, Felix, "Edward, Bella," he nods, "welcome."

Edward nods in reply, "Em in?" he questions.

"No sir, Mr. Cullen is at _Mid-field_ tonight." _Mid-field _is a sports bar that Emmett also owns. It's only been open a year, so Emmett has to spend more time there.

Edward nods again, as he takes my hand and leads me to a high-top table near the bar. He kisses me on the cheek and asks, "Do you want your usual?"

I nod and he winks, making my heart skip a beat. It is amazing that after being married for 12 years he can still affect me with such a simple gesture. I can't help but smile as I watch him walk away. I watch Edward weave his way to the bar, carefully making his way past a group of women who look as if they have just gotten of work. He instantly catches their eye and a few of them begin to seriously look him over. As Edward passes the women on his way back to our table, a tall blonde says something to him and he just laughs and waves his left hand, showing them his wedding band. He looks up at me and smiles and then sits our drinks on the table. He pulls a chair up beside me and sits down.

"I can't take you anywhere," I laugh.

"I know, right," he says under his breath.

There is a long-standing joke that everywhere Edward went women hit on him. It took me a little while to get used to it. But, once I saw that he was completely true to me, I was able to accept it for what it was: A woman seeing and acknowledging a beautiful man and that beautiful man walking straight to me.

We make more small talk as we listened to a couple of songs. Edward checks his watch. "It's 7:00, Bells. We should get going."

It only takes us ten minutes to get to _The Bistro_ and we are seated very quickly. The owner and chef, Laurent, only makes a certain number of dinners per night and only accepts reservations from patrons who he knew well. We had met Laurent when he catered a party for Esme and Carlisle and when Laurent decided to open his restaurant we quickly became regular customers. But that was two kids ago and the last time we were here was easily six months ago.

After being seated, our waiter brings us a complementary bottle of wine and tells us that Laurent will be out to say hello shortly. A few moments later, Laurent is at our table with our first course. Laurent is a lean, dark man whose dreadlocked hair is pulled back in a low pony-tail behind his head. "Ahhh… Edward and Isabella…. How are you tonight?" he asks as he takes my hand and ceremoniously leans down bringing his lips down to the back of my hand. He stands tall and then winks at me and I can't help but blush. He sets my hand back on the table and then steps to Edward and firmly shakes his hand.

"We are well, Laurent. And you?" Edward asks, smiling wide.

"Things are good. Business is good," Laurent nods.

"Glad to hear it." But, before we can make any more small talk we are interrupted by a crash coming from the kitchen.

Laurent looks terribly annoyed and dryly jokes under his breath, "when the cats away…." He shakes his head and then continues, "If you will please excuse me?" We all nod as briskly returns to his kitchen.

Edward laughs lightly, "Looks like he has his hands full tonight."

"Yeah, it looks that way," I smile in turn.

Edward takes my hand in his and asks, "You having a good time tonight, Love?"

"Absolutely, tonight's been great," I smile.

"Good," Edward clears his throat, "because…" he pauses for a second, "I know that _something_ is bothering you…" he pauses again, "and I hate that you have been so upset… and I hoped that we could take some time and… well, I just want you to _not_ be upset anymore."

"Wow," is all I could say. I am stunned. Edward is actually starting a _mature_ conversation about a _real_ issue.

He cocks his head slightly and an odd look appears on his face.

"I mean. Thanks for noticing and wanting to do _something_ about it." I am trying to recover and trying to NOT be snarky with him. He is still giving me a confused look, so I continue, "Yeah, there are things that are really bothering me. And I have tried to talk to you about it, but it just seemed like you weren't ready to make time for me."

"You mean the other night," he interjects.

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean," I take a deep breath, "I don't think you understand how it feels when you choose a video game over your wife."

"I'm sorry," he pauses and shakes his head, "I never really thought about it that way."

Before I can say anything else, our waiter is back at our table with the second course. I am so distracted by what I need to say to Edward that I am not able to enjoy my food.

"Edward, you do know it's more than just that, right?" I ask.

"Love, I don't know what's going on with you." He looks directly into my eyes and I can see his concern, "But, I know it's big. And the fact that you aren't talking to me at all, makes me very worried about you… about us."

I reach over the table to squeeze his hand, "I _am_ sorry that I haven't been able to talk to you. I have just been so angry and it just keeps building and I don't want to say something to you that I might regret. And I don't want our discussion to turn into an argument about something completely off-topic." I take a deep breath and continue, "I just want things to be better."

He squeezes my hand, "How can things be better if you don't tell me what's going on?" Edward pulls his hand away and his expression changes to something a little more intense, "Fuck, Isabella," he says quietly, "Just tell me what is going on."

I am surprised by his reaction, but decide to keep pushing forward with our conversation. "Baby, I'm not happy. I'm not happy with how much you play the computer and how little you do with your family. You have to find a balance."

I can see Edwards posture relax and his face soften, "Is that all it is?" he asks quietly.

"No, but it's the root of most of it."

"But that's the worst of it?" he asks incredulously.

"Yeah…"

"Thank GOD!" he exclaims, confusing me in the process, "I walked around this last week thinking that you were done with me and I was just waiting for you to tell me you wanted to leave me."

"No, no, no..." I whisper. As mad as I was and as upset as I had felt, I never wanted to leave him. I just wanted things to be better.

Before I can explain, Edward is out of his seat and on his knees in front of me wrapping his arms around my body. I hug him back, trying like hell to not cry, but failing miserably. Edward looks up at me with his sparkling green eyes, and smiles, "I love you, Isabella. And I promise we'll work this out."

I smile and lean down and kiss his lips. The kiss was sweet and brief. Edward pulls back to look at me and wipes the tears from my face. He stands up and kisses me again and then goes back to his chair.

The rest of the dinner goes by in an emotional blur. I know I won't be able to discuss what was bothering me any more without crying and I don't want to cry any more than I already have in the middle of the restaurant. At some point, Edward can tell that I am struggling, "Love, don't worry. We will talk about it when we get home. It's ok that we don't talk about it now," he reassures me.

"Ok," I say as I try to smile.

Edward picks up the small talk and begins asking about the kids and their school and what they have been up to. And I couldn't help but feel annoyed. He is their father and he lives in the same house with them _every day_ and he has no idea what they do on a daily basis. I just swallow it down and know that if he is serious about figuring this out that it will be remedied in the long run.

Before I know it we are back in the Volvo heading home. Edward once again takes my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. "When we get home let's open a bottle of wine and talk," he suggests.

"Really?" I ask, excited that he is once again broaching the topic on his own.

"Yeah, you still want to talk, right?"

"Yes, we definitely still need to talk." I look out the passenger window and am surprised to see that we were just about home.

We pull in the driveway and Edward pulls my hand to his chest, pulling me towards him. "I love you," he whispers and kisses me sweetly, "It was nice going out with you tonight."

"It was nice and we need to do it more," I smile and kiss him back. We kiss for a moment longer and then decide to head into the house.

As we make our way in the front door, Edward suggests that I pick a bottle of wine and meet him back in the family room, while he checks his work e-mail, muttering something about a project and testing that should have been concluded and hour ago.

Just the mention of turning on the computer makes me tense. "You really can't wait until tomorrow to check?" I ask.

"It will just take a couple of minutes; if the test failed I have to get a BA involved. We have to have this project completed by Sunday at midnight," he explains as he kisses my temple and heads into the office.

"Oh, ok," I sigh, still not thrilled that our problems were once again being placed on the back-burner. At least it was for work this time and I was aware that there were several project deadlines coming up, so it made some sense.

I walk to the kitchen and begin looking for a bottle of wine and then decide that I feel like a soda instead. My head is throbbing and I am positive that wine would not help. I make myself a drink and then grab a couple of Tylenol from the cabinet and go to see what was keeping Edward.

As soon as I turn into the office I can see that he has not only logged into work, but he also has his work laptop up and running, as well as his PC. I know something is up with work and he has turned his PC on to fill the time lapses in communication… his version of "multi-tasking".

"Edward?" I question, trying to get his attention.

He turns in his chair to face me, "I'm sorry, Love. The test failed and I am getting a BA and a couple of other programmers on it and as soon as I get that lined up, I'm all yours."

"Oh, ok… what's with the WoW then?" I had to let him know it was bothering me.

"Just killing a few minutes while I get work set up." He winks at me, trying to reassure me.

"Ok, I will be in the family room."

"I will be there in a minute."

I walk back to the family room, trying not to be crushed. It was just for work right?! He'd be back out in a minute and then we'd talk. Then we'd hash this out and move forward. I plop down on the couch and turn on the TV. I begin aimlessly flipping channels, trying to find something to distract me. I end up watching the local news for what I hope is just going to be a few minutes.

I wake up to find an infomercial blaring on the TV and it is 3:05 in the morning. I had fallen asleep on the couch while watching the news. Edward must have come out at some point and covered me up with a blanket. I sat up, stretched and went to look for my husband.

I didn't have to look very hard… he was in his office playing WoW.

"What in the hell…" I mutter.

Edward hears me and glances over his shoulder, "Hey sleepy head," he smiles.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I'm trying not to be angry, but I am failing, "You know I was waiting to talk to you."

"You looked so peaceful," he sighs, "and I know you haven't been sleeping well. So, I just wanted to let you rest."

"You should have gotten me up…"

"Oh come on, Bells, we can talk in the morning." And then he shakes his head at me.

"Edward! Damn it! You know as well as I do, that the kids will be here in the morning and we won't have had a chance to talk. You know we need to talk and here you are on the computer." I am becoming more and more frustrated and I can't help but yell, "YOU SHOULD HAVE WOKEN ME UP!"

He jumps in his seat as yell at him. He turns and looks at me, "Quit over-reacting, I will be done here in a minute and we will talk."

"Whatever," I growl at him. I walk over to my desk in the office and pick up my laptop and tear up the stairs. I can hear Edward say something to me as I leave the room, but I am too pissed off to care about what he is saying. I storm into our bedroom and slam the door behind me.

I am trying to catch my breath as I set my laptop on my desk. I open it up and turn it on. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror that hangs over my desk and I don't like what I see. I had never been the kind of girl that would hide in a bedroom. I had never been the kind of girl that would have put up with this kind of shit.

"Fuck this," I murmur. I turn on my heel and head back down the stairs. I find myself standing in the doorway to the office glaring at the back of Edward's head. I listen to him prattle on with his "guild" about how to attack "the boss". I clear my throat and it doesn't even faze him.

I calmly say his name, "Edward." Nothing. He laughs at some inane joke that someone tells.

I take four steps into the room and I am almost standing beside him and then I try again, "Edward." Again, I get nothing.

I take a few more steps and I am standing right next to him and before he can acknowledge my presence I reach out and shut his monitor off.

"Wha… What did you do…?" His stunned face begins to turn red. He reaches to turn the monitor on and I go to pull the cables out of the back of the monitor. "Stop!" he yells as he pushes my hand away from the monitor.

I pull back my hand. He quickly tells "the guild" that he needs a "bio-break". He turns to me, "Bella, what the fuck are you doing?"

My jaw is tight and I tell him through clenched teeth, "I need you to get off the computer and talk to me, right now."

He raises his eyebrows and then pleads, "Come on Bells… just let me finish this last boss."

"Listen, Edward…" I pause, trying to not strangle my husband, "if you don't get off that computer right now…"

Edward shakes his head and turns back to the monitor, "You're being melodramatic," he says under his breath.

"Oh really," I lunge at his monitor. He thinks I am going for the power button of the monitor again, but instead I go for his mouse. I grab and pull HARD, yanking it completely out of his PC. And before he can say a word I throw his mouse as hard as I can into the wall beside us, shattering the mouse and putting a hole in the wall.

"Isabella, what the hell has gotten into you?" he yells as he stands up from his chair.

"What has gotten into me?" I ask incredulously. "Gee… let's see… where would you like me to start? I am sick of this shit! You need to get off the computer NOW! If you meant anything you said to me tonight and you love me like you say you do then GET OFF THE FUCKING COMPUTER!"

* * *

a/n: the "conversation" will happen the next chapter... I promise... Thanks for the last chapters reviews... they definitely keep me motivated!

So, please press that little green button and show me some love or some hate... just give some feedback and let me know how I am doing. Thanks :-)


	7. Chapter 7

I do not own Edward or Bella... but I do love them so...

**Where we left off in last chapter:**

"_Isabella, what the hell has gotten into you?" he yells as he stands up from his chair._

"_What has gotten into me?" I ask incredulously. "Gee… let's see… where would you like me to start? I am sick of this shit! You need to get off the computer NOW! If you meant anything you said to me tonight and you love me like you say you do then GET OFF THE FUCKING COMPUTER, NOW!" _

* * *

I am _beyond_ angry. I am livid. I am breathing deeply trying to catch my breath and glaring defiantly at my husband. I am trying to gather any semblance of calm that I can find, but once again I am failing to control my emotions. All I can think is 'that _motherfucker_ doesn't fucking get it. He just doesn't get it.'

Edward is looking at me like I am completely crazy and maybe I am. Maybe I have finally lost my mind. He glances back at his PC and then back at me and then begins to fist his hair in frustration.

"This decision _shouldn't_ be that difficult," I spit at him.

"It's… no… well…," he mumbles.

"Seriously?" I laugh, "That's _all_ that you can come up with? Your wife is so thoroughly sick of you playing that _stupid_ game that she is fucking SCREAMING her head off at you to make you pay attention and all you can do is _fucking_ stutter?"

"I guess I just don't see what the big deal is." He is looking at me like I'm an idiot and then offers, "You were asleep, anyway."

"You are not this dense, Edward. And I don't understand why you are choosing to act this way now. We have been together for 15 years and married for 12 and this is the first time that you have ever acted this fucking stupid."

"You know what," he starts, "I'm sick of you getting all upset about this and you can't even give me a reason why it's such a big fucking deal. You know what," he starts to move around the office, "I work very fucking hard and if I want to come home and play a video game to relax, I should be able to do that without my wife giving me a ration of shit. I think," he pauses as if he is weighing what he is about to say, "well, I think you're being selfish." He looks up at me as if he just had an epiphany and that I should bow down to his excellent logic.

NOT GONNA HAPPEN! He has just made me angrier than I had been five minutes ago.

"You think I'm being selfish?" I scoff. "That's rich coming from the man who has to ask me about the day-to-day details of his children's lives! From the man who hasn't eaten a warm meal with his family in six months because he's too caught up in a video game to be bothered! From a man who thinks it's more important to play a FUCKING VIDEO GAME than do ANYTHING for ANYONE else!"

"But," I continued, "You're right. Right now, I _am_ being selfish. I am sick of you being on the computer every spare minute that you are home. And I am telling you right now that it is GOING TO CHANGE!"

I paused to catch my breath and Edward begins to say something and I don't hear the words that are coming from his mouth. I know its all bullshit. "SHUT UP!" I yell at him and he looks at me like I just kicked his puppy.

"I don't want to hear any more excuses from you! It's all bullshit!" I square my shoulders and glare at him, "you need to sit down for a minute, because I am going to be _selfish_ and tell you exactly how it's going to be from now on."

Edward looks at me defiantly, "I'd rather stand."

"Fine, stand." He's acting like a petulant child and I almost want to laugh at him. I glare at him some more and then continue, "From now on you are not allowed to play WoW until after the kids are tucked in to bed at night. AND you will be helping me tuck them in every night until they _move the fuck out_. If you are home you are GOING to eat your meals with your family—not in your office, but at the table with your wife and kids. You need to spend time with your kids EVERY DAY. You need to talk to them, play with them, watch TV with… _just fucking BE with them._ Then there is maintenance that needs to be done to our home and our cars and you need to step the fuck up and take care of it and I don't care if you pay someone else to do it or not, but IT NEEDS TO BE FUCKING DONE."

"Also, since I am being _selfish_, I am hiring a housekeeper and lawn service. I have been working a full-time job, _from home_, for over a year now and I cannot keep up with the house, the kids, the yard and my job. It's too fucking much for one person to handle and I know you work 'very fucking hard' (I can't help but make air quotes with that statement) and are not capable of filling in where I need help. And between your job and mine, we can afford both services." I stop talking, feeling better than I have in a really long while and then I realize that I am standing there with my hands on hips, glaring at him.

"_Is that all?_" he asks snidely.

"Yeah, I think that pretty much covers it."

"And I am just supposed to fall in line and do what you say?"

"If you want to be happily married, yeah, you need to what your wife is asking of you," I state.

"Asking? You are _asking_ me to do these things?" Evidently, he thinks it is his turn to be angry, "No! You are DEMANDING that I do these things! And I don't fucking get it."

"Really? You don't get it? Why am I not surprised?" I ask sarcastically.

"You know what? This is fucking stupid," he begins to walk out of the office.

"Where are you going?" I ask as I follow right behind him.

He turns quickly to face me, "I am going to bed. We can talk about this bullshit when we wake up." He is looking down at me and he knows that I am pissed. But, he also knows that the likelihood of us talking about it in the morning is slim.

I am just not willing to let this get swept under the rug. "Fine, Edward, you go on up to bed." I make my way around him and head to the kitchen. I grab my purse, my cell phone and my keys.

"What are you doing?" he asks and his voice has a touch of panic in it.

"I'm going…" I really wasn't sure where I was going, "…out."

"It's 4:00 in the fucking morning. Where in the hell are you gonna go?" His voice turns tentative as he moves to stand in front of the door, trying to keep me home.

"Gee, Edward, where _could_ I possibly go at 4:00 in the morning?" I replied snidely. "Please move out of my way," I asked looking up at him.

He tries to avoid looking me in the eye as he pleads, "Where are you going, Bella?"

"I'm not completely sure. But, I can't stay here with someone who is so willing to ignore me and ignore what I need." I looked up at him as a tear starts to roll down my cheek and he shakes his head. I can see pain etched across his face.

He quickly wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. "Give me the keys," he says quietly.

"No."

"Bella," he pauses and places his hands on my shoulders. We are looking each other square in the eyes now and I can see that his eyes are filled with tears. "I don't want you out, driving, _alone_, at this time in the morning. Let me go."

"Where will _you_ go?" I can't help but ask.

"I think I will go to my parents' house," he sighs, "I think I need to talk to my Dad."

"Oh, ok." I hand him the keys and he takes them. And then I offer a, "Be careful," as I turn on my heel and walk away. I hear Edward go out the front door and I am heart-broken.

I head upstairs, strip out of my clothes and put my pajamas on and get into bed. I can't believe how this night turned out. We had a beautiful date, but even that was tainted by our issues. In the back of my mind I knew that this was going to happen. I knew that we would fight about things that didn't matter. I knew that it would turn personal and I knew that it was up to me to keep it on track. I normally didn't lose my temper so easily. But, he said and did so many things that made me believe that this time could be different. That this time he might actually act like a thinking, feeling, rational adult.

After he blew everything I said off, I just couldn't stand to be under the same roof as him and I just had to get out. I was just going to go to his parents' house for the night and then talk to Esme again in the morning. Edward shocked me by offering to go instead. I really hoped that Carlisle would help Edward to put it in perspective. But, there is always the possibility that he might not be able or willing to see it any other way.

"Shit, what have I done?" I asked myself. What if Edward doesn't come back? What if he decides _he's_ done? What will I do then? I feel my eyes well up with tears and I squeeze my pillow tight. And then I am startled by the ringing of our telephone. I stumble out of bed and pick up the phone and look at the caller id. It is Esme's number, so I decide to answer.

"Hello?" I answer tentatively.

"Hi, Bella," Esme replies, "I just wanted to let you know that Edward is here."

"Ok." I whisper. My heart is in my throat and I just can't say any more without completely breaking down.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Ok. Well, Carlisle is taking to Edward and if you want, the kids can stay the night again tonight to give you two some time."

"Thanks, Mom. Just talk to Edward. Whatever he wants to do is fine."

"Do you need me to come over, honey?"

"No, Mom. I'm just gonna try and get some sleep."

"Ok, if you need to talk just call and I will come over."

"Thanks, Mom. Talk to you later."

"Bye, Bella."

"Bye."

I put the phone back in its' cradle and then crawl back under the covers and quietly cry myself to sleep.

I wake to find the morning sun blaring through my bedroom window and I wince. It's too bright and my head is throbbing. I roll to my side to check the time and I am surprised to see that it's already after eleven. I don't want to get up. I just want to sleep more… my chest doesn't ache when I'm asleep.

I pull the covers back over my head and close my eyes. My brain floods with images of Edward.

The first time I saw him we were both in our sophomore year in college and he had been assigned to be my Calculus tutor. I was digging through my backpack looking for a highlighter when I noticed a beat up pair of black, low-top Chucks standing in front of me. I looked up only to see the most handsome man I had ever seen in real life, grinning down at me. His green eyes twinkled with mischief and his auburn hair looked as if it hadn't seen a brush for days, he asked me, "Isabella Swan?" I nodded. And from that day on, all of our spare time was spent with each other.

The first time he told me he loved me we had just returned from winter break. He had gone home to Chicago to spend the holidays with his parents, while I went back to Forks to spend time with mine. Edward and I agreed that we would get together shortly after returning back to school and that he would give me call and let me know he was on the way over to my apartment. Instead, I found him leaning against the apartment door when I got home from the airport. He was sitting on the ground with his elbows propped up on his knees while his face was buried in his hands. When he heard me approach his head popped up and he was staring directly at me, smiling. In a flash, he was up and had me in his arms and he was kissing me like he hadn't seen me in years. He finally slowed the kiss and looked down at me and said, "I love you." If that smoldering kiss hadn't been enough to heat me up, his confession of love completely melted my heart. I kissed him again, trying to put all the love and want I had for him into my kiss and when _he_ finally pulled away, gasping for air, I said, "I love _you_, Edward."

That night, we made love for the very first time. We weren't each others' first, but it was _our_ first time _together_. Once we got into the apartment, we walked hand-in-hand to my bedroom. We couldn't stop smiling at one another, all the while telling each other how much we had missed each other. When we entered the bedroom I put my suitcase into my closet while Edward closed my bedroom door behind us. When I turned around, I found him leaning against the closed door staring at me, his sexy-as-hell crooked grin gracing his beautiful face. We didn't say a word to one another as we made our way to each other. I was in his arms in an instant and his lips crashed into mine. His arms slid down my back and lifted me up against him. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me towards the bed. He set me down on the bed and stepped back to take off his shirt and when I tried to remove mine, his hands found my wrists, imploring me to stop. When he kissed the tip of my nose, I thought he was going to stop, but instead he whispered, "Love, let me… let me show you how much I love you." Before I could respond, he was kissing me again. This time it was gentle and teasing and absolutely perfect, as was the rest of the night. He used his hand and his mouth to arouse and tease and, finally, satisfy me in so many ways. It was a perfect, wonderful night and he did show me how much he loved me.

Six months later, Edward and I decided not to go back to our respective home towns and stay in Seattle. We both took summer internships, me in a local publishing house and Edward at a software engineering company, in hopes of spending more time with one another. The internships required a little more time than what we had anticipated and we weren't getting to spend any more time with each other than we had before. Edward ended up spending most of his time in my apartment and we had begun to joke about him moving in with me. I came home one night, after a particularly trying day of getting coffee for everyone but myself, to find the front door unlocked and the apartment was pitch black—which was odd because Edward normally had all the lights on and the TV blaring. I called out his name and he asked me to come into the living room. I set my backpack down on the counter and headed toward what looked like a dimly lit living room. I turned the corner and then stopped dead in my tracks. There were lit candles sitting on every possible flat surface, filling the room with a soft, golden glow. I scanned the room to find Edward standing in front of a blanket that he had spread on the floor with a old picnic basket just behind him. He was wearing a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a pair of blue jeans and bare feet. He took a step towards and took my hand and asked me to sit with him. I followed him as he led me to sit down on the blanket. I was absolutely speechless. And then he did it… he took both of my hands into his and then gently cleared his throat, "Isabella, Love… I love you, so, so much. You are always on my mind and I can't imagine my life without you. Every minute I am away from you I am counting the seconds until I can see your face and hold you in my arms. And the way you make me feel when we are together is like nothing I have ever felt before and I don't ever want to lose this feeling. So, I am asking you, _begging_ you really, will you marry me?" I gasped in surprise. I hoped that one day that we might get married. I just wasn't expecting him to propose this soon. I thought this was just going to be another romantic evening courtesy of Edward Cullen. Edward pulled me closer to him and told me, "Take a breath." I hadn't realized I had been holding it in, so I let it go and slowly took another. I looked up into his eyes and I reached forward to cup his cheek with my hand, which he immediately nuzzled into and then as calmly as I could, I replied, "Yes, Edward, I will marry you." We never made it off the blanket that night, even when he insisted on showing me just how much he loved me. He adored and cherished every inch of my body. He created such a powerful current inside me that when he finally pushed me over the edge, I saw white bursts of light behind my closed eyelids while I could no longer control the vibrations that were ringing through the rest of my body.

We waited until after graduation to get married. I was very nervous about walking down the aisle. As I watched Rosalie, my maid of honor, head down the aisle, I became increasingly more nervous. I was certain that I was going to trip and make a complete fool out of myself in front of all of our friends and family. But, my Dad took my hand and reassured me that he wouldn't let me fall. He told me to just focus on the man waiting for me at the end of the aisle. So that's what I did. The only details that I really remember about our wedding ceremony is how Edward looked standing there waiting for me in his tuxedo. Over the years, I had seen Edward in suits, jeans and t-shirts and various other states of undress, but nothing and I mean _nothing_ compared to how Edward looked in that tuxedo. I had always thought he was beautiful, but in that moment he was the most beautiful creature in existence. He had tried to tame his usually wild hair, but with little success. He had shaved, so the scruff that I loved so much was gone, for the day anyway. And when he smiled at me, it wasn't his normal crooked, half-smile, it was a smile that lit up his entire face. It was a smile that reached his expressive, tear-filled eyes, making them twinkle with happiness, and making me want to sprint down the aisle into his arms.

We had only been married for three months when I figured out I was pregnant. It was a Saturday and we had gone out to breakfast at our favorite diner in town. But, the normal smells of grease and breakfast, made my stomach swirl and churn. I immediately had to get out of there fast or was going to lose it. Once I was outside, Edward took my hand and pulled me to his chest. "You alright, Love?" he asked. "I dunno, I just feel off," I whimpered into his chest. He took me home and when the nausea didn't pass he ran to the store to get some soda crackers and some ginger ale. But, he came back with something else. He handed me a small box and said, "I called my Mom and she asked me if I thought it was possible if you could be pregnant. And well, _anything_ is possible…" he trailed off into a story about how picked this test over all the others. But, I hadn't really been listening since he had handed me the box. I looked down at the pregnancy test and I was instantly unsure. I was on the pill, there was no way I could be pregnant… right? I wasn't planning on kids for at least a couple more years. I wasn't sure if I was ready to be pregnant. What about my job? What about Edward? Was he ready for a child? As my thoughts began to spiral out of control, Edward took my hand to reassure me, "Love, we can handle anything that comes our way, I promise." He kissed my temple and pushed me towards the bathroom. We went over the directions together and then he gave me space to take the test. I peed on the stick and then we had to wait three minutes for the results. He tried to distract me by talking about the weather and then by trying to tell me silly jokes and before I knew it the time had passed and we were staring at the white stick with a plus sign on it. And sure enough, I WAS PREGNANT! Edward was overjoyed and I was stunned. We spent the rest of day in bed. He was doing his best to reassure me, as he always did, and I was doing my best to stay curled in his arms and not panic. After we told our parents, and I realized that Edward and I could handle whatever came our way, I began to enjoy being pregnant. Edward was attentive and helpful and our families were very excited about the baby. When we found out we were having a boy, Edward was over the moon. I had never seen him so ecstatic and it was so sweet to see a man so in love with his unborn child. We immediately discussed names and I had to convince him to name our first son, Edward Anthony, Jr.

Little E was born via emergency c-section a day before his due date. Little E didn't tolerate labor and the Doctor decided on a c-section. We were hesitant at first, but once Carlisle talked to the Doctor and he agreed it was for the best, we acquiesced to our Doctor's wishes. I was so scared that I couldn't keep the tears from falling. Edward seeing how upset I was immediately walked over and sat beside me on the bed, took a deep breath and then turned to me. He did his best to smile and then he leaned forward and gently took my face in his hands and then he kissed me reverently on my lips. He then tilted his head forward so that our foreheads were touching and he was looking deep into my eyes. "Love, it's going to be ok… it is… I will be in the room once they get you settled," he whispered. As the nursed began to wheel my bed away he held my hand as he walked beside me. We passed our parents in the hallway and I broke down seeing our mothers' worried faces. I received quick kisses from all of our parents and then Edward walked me the rest of the way to the elevator. When he was told he couldn't ride down with us to the operating room Edward became agitated. He did not want to leave my side, but the nurse explained that Edward and I had to be separated so I could be prepped for surgery and so he could get ready to be in the operating room. Edward hesitantly agreed. But, before he was pulled away, he leaned down and gave me a sweet kiss on the corner of my mouth. "I love you and I will see you in a minute," he smiled and then gave me a wink, making me smile in return. It only took them a few minutes to get me prepped and ready, but it felt like an eternity. I was so scared and nervous that all I could do was cry. My anesthesiologist tried to calm me down by rubbing my forehead and talking to me, but when she asked me where was the baby's father I completely lost it and began sobbing telling her that I didn't know. She quickly asked the other nurses if I had any family waiting for me that could come and comfort me. Immediately making a nurse realize that she had forgotten all about Edward, leaving him in a small exam room next to the operating room. Within moments, she retrieved Edward and had him by my side. He greeted me with tears in his eyes and I don't think I had ever seen his look so scared. As soon as he was in place the Doctor began the surgery. Edward was able to stand up and see the entire process, although I don't know why he wanted to or how he could stomach it. But, he was the first person in our family to see our little boy. I heard him before I could see him and as long as I live I will never forget the sound of his cry. Once Little E was cleaned and assessed, Edward was allowed to bring him over to see me on the operating table. When I saw the expression on my husbands' face as he looked down at his newborn son, I think I fell impossibly deeper in love with him than I had been five minutes earlier. Edward had tears streaming down his face and all he could say was, "Look at him, Love, he's so perfect. Just look at him…."

With each pregnancy and each birth, Edward was there every step of the way to help and reassure and calm me. I had to recover from four c-sections and Edward helped me or arranged for me to have help for the first full month after each operation. Edward adored each of the boys and spent most of his spare time with them or helping me with them. There was nothing more heart-achingly beautiful than seeing Edward lying on the couch or bed with his boys asleep on or around him.

But as they got older, he began to spend less and less time with them. When our youngest was born, Edward was in the midst of starting his own company. He had the financial backing in place, and even had several good-paying jobs lined up. But, until he was able to hire more programmers he was stuck working long, long hours, which meant we were not able to spend time with him like we were used to. Edward tried working from home which helped some, but our time with him was still very limited and the distance just seemed to grow from that point until now.

I am brought out of my revelry by the sound of the telephone ringing. I sit up and throw the blankets off of me and will myself to get up and answer the phone. I check the caller id again to see that it is Esme and Carlisle's home number. I take a deep breath, trying to steal myself for what may be coming, and then answer the phone…

"Hello?" I answer, nervously anticipating whose voice I will be hearing and praying that it's Edward's.

"Hi, Bells," Edward replies. And I am relieved to hear his smooth voice say my name.

"Hey," I whisper into the receiver.

"You ok?" he asks.

I'm not sure what he wants to hear. Am I ok with the fact that we slept in different houses last night? Am I ok with the fact that we couldn't solve this problem without it disintegrating into this mess? Am I ok with anything right now? "Ummm… well… not really," I sigh.

"I guess that was a stupid question." He is being tentative and I realize he is just as unsure as I am.

"Not stupid, baby, just vague." I say under my breath.

"Are you okay with me coming over to talk?" he asks quietly.

"Yeah, we need to talk."

"Ok, I will be there shortly."

"Ok." I can't help but sigh, again.

"Hey Bells?" his voice begins to lighten.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Have you eaten anything today?"

"No, I haven't been out of bed yet."

"Oh… Ok. I will bring you something." He almost sounds excited about the prospect of bringing me food.

"Ok, thanks," is all I can muster.

"Bye, Bells," I can hear the smile in his voice.

"Bye."

I hang up the phone and decide to get moving and go brush my teeth. But, I am surprised to feel an almost immobilizing pain across my back and up and over my shoulders. I feel beyond stiff and pull my arms up over my head trying to stretch out a bit. The stretching helps some, but then I figure that a hot shower might ease some of the tension in my aching muscles. I turn on the water and then take some Advil to help ease the pain. I quickly pick a pair of yoga pants, a sports bra, a tank top and a hoodie to change into after the shower. I undress and then stand under the warm water and once my body adjusts to the temperature I turn it up as hot as I can stand it. I quickly wash my hair and my body and then just stand under the spray of the shower trying to allow the water to loosen my overly tense muscles. I end up staying in the shower until the water runs cold and then I quickly dry off and get dressed. My skin is flushed to a light shade of pink from the hot shower, but it doesn't hide the sadness I see written across my face when I look up into the mirror that hangs above the sink. I quickly move away from the mirror so I do not see myself break down. I head down the stairs with tears streaming down my face.

When I reach the bottom of the stairs I turn to my right to head to the kitchen. As I turn the corner, I am surprised to see Edward sitting at the kitchen table. I bring the sleeve of my hoodie up to my face and try to wipe my tears away before Edward can see them. He has brought me coffee and croissant and if I know him, it is my favorite white chocolate mocha and chocolate filled croissant. Edward is looking down at his coffee cup, playing with the hand guard that is wrapped around the paper cup. I walk further into the kitchen and he looks up and finds my eyes, attempting to smile up at me.

"Hey," he says, quietly.

"Hey back," I reply. I notice that he looks as horrible as I feel. He has terribly dark shadows under his eyes and his normally messy hair looks to be a greasy, matted mess. I continue my way to the table and decide to sit across from him. As I sit down I tell him, "thanks for breakfast."

"You are more than welcome." I look at Edward and I can see from his posture and the pensive look on his face that this is hard for him, too.

As I begin to ask if he is ok we both utter, "Are you…" at the exact same time. We both smile slightly and then he nods to me and raises his hand encouraging me to speak first.

"Are you ready to talk? I mean are you ok with talking, now?" I ask, feeling unsure of what to say.

"Yeah," he says quietly, "I think I am ready."

"Let's go in the family room," I suggest as I stand up, pick up my plated croissant and warm coffee and head to our family room. I don't turn to see if he is following me, but I can hear his bare footsteps padding across the linoleum behind me.

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a/n: Thanks again for the reviews. They really do keep me writing. Please let me know what you think about this one. I re-wrote it quite a few times and was finally happy with this version. Thanks again and if you get a chance... hit that little green button for me... :-)


	8. Chapter 8

I do not own edward or bella, but I do love to read and write about them!

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"_Are you ready to talk? I mean are you ok with talking, now?" I ask, feeling unsure of what to say._

"_Yeah," he says quietly, "I think I am ready."_

"_Let's go in the family room," I suggest as I stand up, pick up my plated croissant and warm coffee and head to our family room. I don't turn to see if he is following me, but I can hear his footsteps padding across the linoleum behind me._

* * *

As I plop down in the corner and lean against the arm of our denim, slip-covered sofa, Edward gracefully sits down on the opposite end of the couch with a sigh. I shudder as goose-bumps rise on my arms. It's not cold inside the house, but I am chilled. I pull my legs up under my body and then pull the plush fleece blanket off of the back of the couch and wrap it around me. As I finally feel settled in my spot, I look over to find Edward looking at me with a slightly amused smile on his tired face. The corners of his eyes are slightly crinkled and his mouth is minutely quirked up on the right side.

"What?" I ask quietly. I'm not sure what he finds amusing and I'm fighting the urge to react defensively.

Edward shakes his head slightly, his smile spreading further across his sweet lips, "Nothing… it's just… well… it's funny to me that after all of these years you still do the _exact_ same thing."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," he began, "when you drink your coffee in the morning, you end up feeling cold and then get all bundled up in a blanket or sweater until you get warm again." He pauses for a moment, looking towards the windows on the other side of the room and when he turns to face me his expression growing somber, he continues, "After all these years, I know you so well. But, right now, I just feel at a loss."

"I know how you feel," I murmur.

"What was that?" he asks, still looking directly at me.

I look directly into Edwards green eyes. His eyes are dark with concern and I realize that we _are_ having this conversation and we are having right now. "I know how you feel," I say clearly, "I walk around this house everyday _and_ most of the time I feel completely at a loss."

"Why?" he asks in a breathy, concerned tone, "What has you feeling like that?" Edward leans forward and begins to scoot his way towards me and he doesn't stop until his knees are touching mine. His touch is calming, and like always, reassuring.

I take a deep breath when our knees touch and tell him, "Baby, please don't get mad at what I am going to say. Please just listen to what I am saying until I get it all out."

"Ok," he whispers as he lifts his hand and rests it on my knee, "I will try." He smiles another slight smile and it begins to warm my heart.

_All I have ever wanted him to do was to try_.

I smile back at him and when my gaze reaches his eyes I begin, "I almost don't know where to start…" I take another deep breath and then continue, "I feel like I'm doing the same things over and over and _over_ again, all by myself. I am taking care of four _VERY_ active little boys, this _huge_ house and all that _it _entails, the cars, the bills, the shopping, and the laundry… and I'm doing it ALL, _all by myself_. I feel like I'm getting lost in the monotonous minutia of _this life_. And then when I ask you to take the car to get the oil changed or ask if you could watch the boys so I can go out and get a pedicure with the girls you act as if you have to move heaven and earth to do, what I feel, is a simple task. And every single time I ask you for help, I secretly hope that this time, will be the one time that you actually come through for me. But it doesn't _EVER_ happen.

"Have I told you my definition of insanity?" I pause and look at him pointedly and he shakes his head no. "It's doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. And that's what I do. I clean the house, hoping it will stay clean and it never does. I make a dinner you will love, hoping you will eat with us and you don't. I ask you to stay off the computer for one _lousy_ night, and you don't. I ask you to help with simple tasks around _OUR_ home and you can't be bothered to help. I ask you to spend time with your kids, and you have other 'more important' things to do." I stop speaking because I feel the anger building and I know that I have to keep my temper under control. I am still looking into his eyes and I can see that my pointed statements have struck a nerve. I raise my shaky hand and put on top of his and squeeze gently, "Edward, all these things that make up _this life_ are wearing me into the ground and making me feel useless. If I didn't have my editing or if I wasn't writing I would be completely lost. But, my job is also severely hampering my ability to get things done around here." I stop for a second and then ask, "Is any of this making _any_ sense to you?"

Edward rakes the fingers of his unoccupied hand through his messy, almost greasy hair and then pauses and looks as if he is gathering his thoughts. His hand makes its' way out of his hair and gently takes my hand that had been squeezing his and places it between the two of his. "Love, I see that you are completely frustrated. And you are frustrated with… well just about everything. I'm really not sure if it really matters if it makes sense to me." I am immediate irked with his last statement and begin to say something when he cuts me off, "Just wait, please, Bells." I nod in agreement, literally biting my tongue to let him continue, "I think what matters is that _we_ come together and figure out what _we_ need to do to make things better."

He raises his hands and he cups my cheeks with his hands and when I look into his eyes I can see there are tears beginning to well up in his eyes. When he begins talking his voice is shaky with emotion, "I do understand why you are angry with _me_. I know that I haven't been around and when I am… I'm really not. I know that I haven't been spending very much time with you and the kids, hell, with anyone for that matter. I'm either working or on the computer. I get _all of that_. And I'm truly, _truly_ sorry for hurting you and the kids. And I am going to rearrange some things at work so I can be here more in the evenings… And, if you want, I will give up WoW."

I am completely shocked that he is willing to go there, that he is willing to give up his precious game. His hands fall back down to my knees and I realize I should say _something_. "I really don't know what to say," I confess. "I appreciate your apology and, well, I'm really surprised to hear your change of heart."

"Bella," he continues, "I know it doesn't seem like it, but there is nothing as important to me as you and the kids. I love you all, so, so much. And I'm willing to do what I have to do to make you happy, to make our family happy again. What do we need to do? Tell me, Bells, and I will make it happen."

"Seriously?" I ask. It can't be this simple, can it?

"Seriously, Bells, tell me what you want," he states with all seriousness, his eyes never leaving mine.

"I really like the idea of you being home earlier in the evenings. And I need you to eat dinner with us and help tuck the kids in at bed time. I would like to hire a housekeeper and a lawn maintenance company to help with things I just can't keep up with anymore. I need you to take care of the cars because I just don't know enough to do a good job." I pause wondering if I should let him off the hook with WoW, but I know how time consuming it is. But, I can't help but feel I should try and compromise. I continue quietly, "I don't think you have to give up WoW, entirely. I think you need to limit how much you play… you know, try to find a balance."

Edward blinks his eyes rapidly as his forehead scrunches in confusion, "Really?! You _really_ don't want me to give it up?" He looks as happy as a child opening presents on Christmas morning.

I couldn't help but smile at his reaction. "Really," I answer, "How much do you _really_ need to play?"

"Well," he pauses for a moment to gather his thoughts, "There are daily and weekly runs that need to be done, as well as dungeons. And then there are lots of little things…" his voice trails off and then he asks, "What are your thoughts?"

"I haven't really thought about it, too much. But, if I need you to spend time with the kids and help me put them to bed, then I would say no playing until they are in bed. And if I'm working, I really don't care if you play. I just want WoW to _not_ be your number one priority, that's all."

"Ok, so, only after the kids are in bed and when you are working?" he asks, with hope ringing in his voice.

"We can try it and see how it works," I happily concede. "What do you think about the housekeeper and the gardener idea?" I ask, a little worried he will not see it as necessary.

"Do you think it will help make things better for you?"

"I think so. But, we will never know if we don't try it."

"Then, do what you need to do," he encourages.

"Really?!" I squeal, not able to contain my excitement.

"Really, Love," Edward is smiling now and pulls me into his arms and I go willingly. He wraps his arms around my back and my hands find his waist. "Bella," he whispers in my ear, "I love you and I _am _sorry."

"I love you, too, Baby," I whimper to him, as I begin to cry. The emotions are over-whelming. It feels like I was so close to losing my marriage, so close to losing my best friend. I feel relief that we have found our way through this mess: A mess that could have been avoided. "I'm sorry, too. I know I should have talked to you and not let us get here. I just kept putting off talking to you, because I knew it was going to be really, _really_ difficult to get to the heart of the matter."

Edward slowly pulls away and then tilts his head down so that he is looking into my eyes. "Love, _you_ are the heart of the matter. You always have been and you always will be," he smiles and then kisses me oh so gently on my mouth. The tears continue to fall as I kiss him back for a moment and then rest my head on his shoulder. His arms move down slightly and are wrapping around my waist, pulling me impossibly closer to his chest. "Shhhhh, Bella. It's ok." Edward rubs his hand up and down my back trying to soothe me. "Why are you crying, Love?" he asks into my hair.

It takes me a second to gather my thoughts and then I answer, "I'm just relieved, that's all."

"Relieved?" he asks.

"Yeah, I mean, after last night I had no idea how today was going to go." I turn in his arms so that we can face one another. He still looks exhausted, but his eyes are more relaxed. I reach up and run one of my hands through his hair, fisting it when I get to the back of his head, making sure I have his complete attention, "After you left, I was so afraid that you wouldn't be willing to change...that I wasn't important enough for you to even _try _to change. And then you come home this morning and you are more than willing to do _whatever_ it is that I ask of you. I just don't know how _you_ got from there to here in less than a night."

"I know, right?" he smiles and I let go of his hair and rest my hand on his shoulder. "I talked with my Dad last night and he helped me to see that… well, that I was just being fucking stupid and selfish. He also helped me figure out what I _really_ want."

"And what is it that you _really_ want?" I couldn't help but ask.

"What do I _really_ want?" he asks in a teasing tone.

"Yeah…" I begin and then he cuts me off by nuzzling my neck.

"I want you, Love." His nose traces its' way up to my ear, "I want to be the man that makes you smile, that makes you laugh, that makes you scream. But, most of all, I want to be the man that you love and the man that loves you in return. I want to make you happy." He takes my ear lobe between his teeth and I squirm into his chest. "I want you so, badly," he growls into my ear.

My hands go straight to his hair and I rake my nails gently against his scalp and I can hear his breath catch in his throat. He kisses along my jaw until he reaches my lips and then he begins to trace my bottom lip with his tongue and then I begin to devour him. I pull his head back by his hair and he leans us back: Him leaning against the back of the couch and me leaning my entire body into his. I straddle his legs and instantly feel his hardness against my crotch and it just spurs me on. I nip at his bottom lip until he opens his mouth and then I suck it, slowly in between my own. I feel his tongue lap at my mouth and then I decide to kiss him hard. At first, our tongues fight and twist for dominance. But, then he surrenders and lets me have my way with his mouth. Once I have won that tiny battle, I lean back and pull his t-shirt up and over his head. Before I can move to the next part of him, he unzips my hoodie and pulls it down my arms and then begins kissing my neck.

"Too many clothes," he mumbles against my heated skin.

I grab him by the hair again and pull his head back making his face tilt up to mine. I kiss his lips, hard, and then growl, "Let me have my way." His eyes open wide and then he nods his head yes, as I feel his body relax beneath mine. I pull his head back further so that his neck is exposed. I begin so bite and nip and tease my way down his neck. I linger for a minute a tease the skin around his Adam's apple. When he begins to squirm, I can't help but smile against his throat. As I make my across his chest, I release his hair and begin to drag my nails down his neck, across his shoulders and down his arms. He shivers against me and I bite his nipple lightly, his hips jerk up in surprise and I push myself down against him. I pull my finger nails back up his arms and up the back of his neck. I change sides and nip his other nipple, making him squirm some more.

I sit back on Edwards' legs and look at my husband's flushed face. His eyes are closed and he is almost vibrating in anticipation of what I am going to do next. I can't help but smile at the fact that I am the woman that makes this beautiful man writhe and shiver. Out of nowhere his eyes pop open and he smiles at me, "What is it, Love?"

"I'm just in awe," I smile wider.

"Oh really?" he asks and his smile becomes crooked and I know that I am in trouble. Before I can react, Edward flips us over so that my back is on the couch and he is above me pinning me to the couch. He kisses me for a moment, but his kiss in not demanding like mine had been. His kiss is sweet and teasing. And with each flick of his tongue, I find myself wanting him more and more. "You have no idea how much I want you right now," he murmurs against my lips.

"I think I can guess," I joke as I press myself up against his hard cock.

"Do you still want to have your way with me or can I take over now?" he teases back.

"How do you know this isn't what I wanted all along?" I smile and raise my head to try and nip at his throat.

"Ok then." Edward doesn't waste any time. He somehow manages to get my pants off and my tank and bra pushed to the side so he has complete access to both of my breasts. He shifts his weight off to the side and begins teasing and sucking one nipple while one hand makes its' way down between my legs. "God, you are so wet." His fingers traced around my entrance and then tease their way back up to my clit. He slowly began tracing circles around and over and I could feel the tension begin to build deep in my belly. I want to squeeze my legs together, but Edwards' hand hold firm. "Cum for me, Love," he growls against my chest. He increases the tempo of his fingers and my back immediately arches off the couch. He bites down on my nipple and I come undone. My legs are shaking uncontrollably until Edward removes his hand from my pussy. He keeps his head on my chest and wraps his arms around my waist as I come down from my high.

I lift my free hand to his back and begin to lightly scratch his back. "Mmmmm," he groans, "that feels nice." He stays still while I continue to scratch, but once my hand stills he sits up. "You ok, Love?"

I look up at him and smile, "Absolutely, Baby."

He takes my hand and pulls me towards him, "Come here," he encourages. I sit up onto my knees and lean in to kiss him. He works his pants off his hips and down his legs and then his hands fall to my waist. He positions me so that I am straddling his lap again. And I can't help but groan as I ease myself down on his erection. "You're so fucking hot," he gasps into my neck. And then we begin to move. We counter each other so well, and I work him so quickly that it's over for him before it can really begin for me. But, he doesn't let go of me. He holds me against him as he lays us back down on the couch. Somehow he is able to snag the fleece blanket with his toes and is able to pull it up over us. I am spent emotionally and physically. And at the same time I am insanely happy.

I can feel myself begin to drift to sleep and I mumble, "I love you, Edward."

I hear him reply, "I love you, Isabella." And then I'm asleep.

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a/n: Thanks for reading! I wan't sure how I really wanted to go with this chapter. So, I went with what I thought THESE characters would do. Anyway... It was difficult. There will be two more chapters and then I may revisit the couple as I see necessary.

Please let me know what you think... I appreciate everyone who read and I love those who review! J/K... I love you all! :-)


	9. Chapter 9

I do not own Edward and Bella, but I do have fun playing with them_..._

a/n: Sorry this took so long... r/l has been hectic this week with Spring Break and all... thanks for reading :-)

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_I can feel myself begin to drift to sleep and I mumble, "I love you, Edward."_

_I hear him reply, "I love you, Isabella." And then I'm asleep._

* * *

I'm warm and comfortable and I don't want to open my eyes. But something is pulling me into consciousness. I nuzzle closer into Edward's side hoping to find my way back into the most pleasant dream I was having … something about a hammock on the beach… I think. But, there it is again… this time I am awake to feel something feathery soft brush my cheek. I push my face tighter to Edward's chest and then I feel his chest vibrate lightly and hear him chuckle softly.

"Whaaaaat?" I moan in the whiniest voice I can manage. Keeping my eyes closed and my head on his chest, I rub my hand against my cheek and feel nothing but Edward's chest moving again as he laughs at me.

"You gonna wake up, sleeping beauty?" he asks in his best, sweet and melodic, 'I don't want to turn sleeping-Bella into angry-Bella' voice.

I grunt a 'NO' and curl tighter into his side. I burrow my head down under his arm and wedge myself between his back and the couch. Edward laughs and the pulls me out from under him, wrapping me in his strong arms as he turns himself onto his side. He kisses my temple, lingering for a moment and then he placed smaller, sweet kisses all the way to my ear lobe, "Bella, Love," he whispers in my ear, "We need to get up."

I can't help but lean my head against his mouth. His warm breath is tickling my cheek and raising goose-bumps down my neck. "Nooooo…" I whisper. Shaking my head slightly I whine, "I don't wanna get up..." I kiss his the hollow of his throat, "I'm comfortable right here."

Edward groans softly and then he slowly pulls his hand around my back to my hip. He squeezes my hip tightly and then he begins tracing his way up my side, tickling me lightly when he reaches my ribs. He continues up and around to my shoulder where he makes small circles for a moment before continuing up and across and up the back of my neck. The tips of his fingers run back down my neck and then down my spine all the way to my tail-bone making me jump and press my now, wide awake body into his. He rubs his hand up my back in one smooth movement pressing gently into my skin making me sigh when he reaches my neck. His hands are relaxing me and turning me on at the exact same time. "Mmmmmmm… I…," I groan in sheer pleasure.

Out of nowhere Edward's gentle hand twists itself into the hair at the back of head and pulls my head back so that my face is tilted up towards his and his other hand is absolutely crushing me to him. His lips crash into mine with such force that it feels like my lip has been split open. I can't help but gasp in shock and then his tongue is immediately moving against mine, stifling the groan that coming from my throat. I am trying to kiss him back, but he is kissing me with such ferocity that I am in complete awe of how much he is making me want him. I throw my leg over his hip and press my throbbing core against his erection. He flexes his hips against mine and then pulls my head further back baring my neck and he immediately begins to suck and bite at my throat. "Edward," I pant.

"Shut up, Bella," he growls and crashes his lips back into mine and rolls me on top of him as he sits us up. Before I can adjust to our new position he warns me to, "Hold on." As I throw my arms around his neck he is lifting us up so that he is standing. I immediately wrap my legs around his waist and his hands roughly grab my ass. He lifts me up slightly with one hand and with the other he takes the head of his engorged cock and rubs it between the lips of my pussy. "You're so fucking wet for me," he says, growling against my neck and before I can reply he is pushing himself inside of me.

He begins to take steps, thrusting in and pulling out with each step, and I have no fucking idea where we are going. All I can focus on is trying to keep my legs wrapped tightly around my writhing husband. I feel my back slam up against a wall and Edward pries my arms from around his neck and pushes them up over my head and grabs my wrists with one hand, holding my arms in place. His other hand has grabbed my ass and is pushing me, making my already rushed movements overly exaggerated.

Edward bites down on my collar bone and I fucking lose it. I just can't keep quiet anymore, "Fuck, Baby." I arch my back off the wall and try to pull my hands down so I can gain more leverage.

"No," he snarls as his hand tightens its grip around my wrists. He pushes my body harder and I am back against the wall struggling to find a way to assert myself against him. He is looking directly into my eyes. His green eyes are blazing into mine and then his mouth curves into an almost evil-looking half-grin. "Come on, Love, you can do better than that," he teases and then leans back in to begin devouring my neck. He is biting and sucking so hard that I know I am going to be marked.

Okay then…

I try to pull my hands away from his vise-like grip, but he just grips harder and thrusts into me harder. I squirm against him and use my legs to try and gain any kind of leverage. I am finally able to wiggle one hand free and I immediately thrust it into the back of his hair where I grab handful, trying to pull his head away from neck.

I finally feel like I am gaining some control and I begin to change our pace. And Edward, seeming to realize this, rips us away from the wall, takes a few steps towards the stairs. He leans forward and I throw my arms tightly around his neck to keep from falling. When my ass comes to sit on one of the stairs, Edward shifts up and continues thrusting into me. I lean back on to my elbows and place my feet on either side of Edward and I am finally able to move at will against him. He shakes his head side-to-side and then grabs my ankles and places them, one by one, up over his shoulder. He leans forward and kisses me _hard_. I try to pull away and he smiles down at me, "Come on, Love, fuck me."

His mouth finds mine and his hips slam against the backs of my thighs. I use my arms to push myself against him and I am trying like hell to grind myself against him. He is slamming against me when one my legs fall to the side. I use it for even more strength to push back against him. He groans at the new angle and then reaches down between us and finds my swollen clit. He begins rubbing and manipulating and then grunts, "fucking cum for me."

I shake my head. "I can't," I whisper, "It's your turn, Baby." I know that my orgasm is too far off and he is so incredibly close. I move harder against him, trying to find the angle that will send him over the edge. When his jaw begins to clench I urge him, "Come on Baby, cum." He thrusts into me a few more times and then collapses on top of me. He is breathing heavily and crushing me beneath his sweaty, spent body… and it feels heavenly. He begins to pull away and I wrap my legs around him trying to keep him close. He kisses my cheek and then we look into each others' eyes and I smile, "I love you, Baby."

"I love you, too," he says and kisses me gently on my lips. "You can't be comfortable," he smiles.

"Eh," I squeeze him with my legs, "You've had me in stranger spots," I giggle.

He smiles and nods, "Yeah, I guess you're right." He shifts his weight from one leg to the other and then tells me, "Love, these stairs are killing my knees." He gives me a quick peck and then offers, "Let's go get cleaned up and then go get some food."

I just nod and let my legs fall away from his waist. He slowly pushes himself up to standing and then offers me his hand with a flourish. I take his hand and he yanks me up to my feet, causing me to squeal in surprise. He is laughing quietly and shaking his head at my reaction as he leads me up the stairs to our bathroom.

He walks ahead to start the shower and I head into my closet to pick out what I will be wearing for the day. I'm not sure what I want to wear. I'm caught between wanting to look cute for my husband and being comfortable for myself. I opt for a cute, but snug t-shirt and a jean skirt. I should be comfortable and still give Edward something to think about.

I head to the bathroom and am not surprised that Edward is already in the shower. I set my clothes on the vanity and when I look in the shower I am completely shocked by my appearance. My hair of course is a wild mess. My pony tail is hanging loosely off the back of my head and most of my hair looks like a birds' nest, sticking out in a frizzy mess. But, I expected that. I hadn't expected to see a split bottom lip or a love-bite the size of a golf ball on my neck. I lean closer to the mirror and I can see bite marks raising on my collar bone and I have a feeling that the marks are just going to show up more over the next day or two.

I enter the shower stall and look at Edward. His back is to me and he is rinsing his soapy hair under the powerful flow of water. The suds are trailing down his back and over his muscular ass… he's just so freaking beautiful and I can't help but bite my lip. "Ouch," I wince as I move towards the hot water.

"You ok, Love?" Edward asks as he scrubs his head a moment longer.

"Yeah, I'm good." I step closer as he becomes soap-free and place my hands on his hips and press my breasts into his back.

"Yeah, I know you're good," he snorts at his own joke, "but are you ok?" He turns in my arms to face me and frowns slightly when his eyes fall on my lips. He reaches up and lightly traces my bottom lip with his thumb. "I'm sorry," he whispers, "I didn't…"

I cut him off before he can continue, "It was an accident. I didn't know it happened until I looked in the mirror just a second ago." He just shook his head and kissed my lip very gently. "So, can I ask you something?" I asked tentatively as I reached around him to grab the shampoo.

"Of course," he answered while moving out of my way to give me full access to the water.

"What was this morning _really_ about? I mean, we do fuck just as much as we make love, but this was just different."

"I don't really know," he pauses for a moment, carefully weighing what he is about to say. He shrugs his shoulders and then looks around nervously, "I was trying to wake you up gently this morning and you just kept refusing and then at one point you mumbled something that sounded like 'Mike' and then giggled. And after that I wanted to make sure you knew who it was you were waking up to."

My jaw must have hit the floor because I am completely stunned. "Edward, I do not remember saying that. I _think_ I was dreaming about the beach when you woke me up, but I don't remember anything about Mike." When I took a good look at Edward he looks like he is in pain and fighting to hide behind his ultra-rigid posture and he's still not looking at me. I reach up to touch his cheek, "Baby, what is it?" I plead. He has his eyes closed as he leans his head into my hand. I see a tear run down his cheek and now I'm really scared. "Edward, please tell me what's wrong."

Edward takes a deep breath, and then blurts, "Bella are you having an affair?" My hand falls from his cheek.

"What?!" I asked, totally mortified that he thinks I am capable of such a thing. He is looking at me with a very tight expression on his face. And then I realize he is measuring my reaction. I'm trying not to be upset. I know I have been acting strangely for a few weeks now, but I never thought his mind would go there. "Why would you ask me that? What would ever make you think that I would do that to you, to us, to our _family_?"

"Well," he is doing his best to stay calm, "you have been acting very strange lately and I know I haven't been there for you and I guess… you know… it wouldn't be too unusual for you to turn to someone else." He is looking at anything but me again and I feel the need to get his complete attention.

"Edward Anthony Cullen," I bark and his gaze immediately meets mine, "let me tell you something… I have _never _and will _never_ cheat on you." I lift both my hands up to cup his face in my hands, "I love _YOU_, with all my heart and soul. _YOU ARE IT FOR ME_!" I launch myself up and into his arms and press my lips to his. He kisses me back and holds me up against his chest. He pulls his away and nuzzles into my neck and begins to sob. "Baby, what is wrong?" I ask desperately. He is really worrying me. He sets me down and moves away from me towards the water. He puts both hands on the wall and lets his head hang down while the water pulses on his neck and shoulders while the water streams down his back.

I can't help but wonder if he heard me and when I say his name again and he doesn't answer I am getting more worried by the second. As my worry turns to fear he turns and looks at me. His eyes are red because he hasn't stopped crying while he had pulled away from me. He took my hands into his and I held my breath waiting for the admission that would surely blow my life to hell.

"Isabella," he began, "for the last few weeks I thought I had lost you and it wasn't until this morning, after we talked, that I realized I hadn't. But, then when you said 'Mike' when we woke up, I thought twice. And I decided that I was going to make sure he knew you were mine. And now I realize how stupid I had been and I am so sorry that I misjudged you."

His eyes were begging for me to forgive him and after a moment, I finally exhaled. "Are you sure that's it?" I asked skeptically.

"Yeah. Can you forgive me Bells?" he asked.

I nodded yes. "You know I do." I hugged him and then confided, "Edward, I have to tell you that for a second, I thought you were going to confess something awful."

"I'm sorry, Love," he whispered and then shivered. "I think the waters getting cold. We should get out soon."

I nodded against his chest and then pull away to quickly wash before the cooling water became ice cold. Edward steps out of the shower, grabbing his towel on the way out, and dries off on his way to go get dressed.

It breaks my heart to think how I have hurt my husband. I can't believe he would think that I would ever cheat on him. Let alone with my boss, Mike. What in the hell was Edward thinking? Doesn't he know how much I love him?

I shut off the water, grab my towel and step out of the shower, determined to make _this life—our life_, better.

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a/n: Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing... I appreciate all of you! Sorry this chapter took a little longer than normal... kids being home on Spring Break has been taking up too much of my time.

Please let me know what you think... please... :-)


	10. Chapter 10

I do not own Edward and Bella, but I do have fun playing with them... just a little bit... ;-)

Thanks for reading...

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_It breaks my heart to think how I have hurt my husband. I can't believe he would think that I would ever cheat on him. Let alone with my boss, Mike. What in the hell was Edward thinking? Doesn't he know how much I love him?_

_I shut off the water, grab my towel and step out of the shower, determined to make this life—our life, better._

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I wrap myself in my towel, grab my clothes and head to the bedroom looking for Edward. They way our conversation went is not sitting right in my head. I may have been a little distant but it really isn't that unusual for me to react that way when something was really bothering me. I just don't understand how he could think that I would ever cheat on him. I thought he knew me better than that…

I step into our bedroom and quickly scan the room only to find that Edward is not in the room.

I can't escape the feeling that something isn't right and that I need to find my husband right now. I set my clothes on the bed and half-run out our bedroom door and down the stairs. I am almost in a full-blown panic by the time I make it to the office doors. I expect to find Edward at his computer, but he's not there. Now, I'm really confused and worried.

I turn on my heels and walk to the kitchen… no Edward. I walk through the laundry room and open the door to the garage and look inside only to find that his car is gone. My heart is pounding in my chest and I run back into the kitchen and grab the phone and hurriedly dial Edward's cell phone. The call goes straight to voice mail. "Fuck," I mutter under my breath. I scramble around the kitchen looking for my cell phone and find it in my purse. I slide it open to text Edward, but my phone is dead. "Fuck!" I shout, I jog back to the office and plug my phone into its charger. "Come on, come on," I huff at my phone, urging for it to hurry the hell up and turn on. The battery screen finally comes on and I know it will be another minute before it has enough power to actually turn on so I can use it. I run up the stairs and throw on my clothes and tie my damp hair up in a loose pony-tail and then I head back downstairs and as I round the corner, I slam face-first into Edwards' chest. He immediately wraps his arms around me to keep from falling on my butt and as soon as I realize it's him I throw my arms around his neck and hug tightly.

"Where did you go?" I whisper into his neck, trying like hell not to cry. There is a painful lump in my throat and my chest aches, making it hard to breath.

"I just ran my work laptop over to Jazz, so he could finish over-seeing this weekends' project." He loosens his grip around my waist slightly, but when I keep my arms wrapped around his neck he asks, "What's the matter, Love?" He reaches up and places his hands on my arms and begins to pry my arms from around his neck.

I loosen my strangle-hold slightly. I keep my forehead against his chest because if I look into Edward's eyes right now I know I will lose it all together. "I… well… I came out of the bathroom and you weren't upstairs and then when I came down you weren't here either and I guess I just panicked."

"Why would you panic?" he whispers into the hair at the top of my head.

I pull my arms from his neck and wrap them around his waist, keeping my head to his chest. The lump in my throat almost keeps me from speaking, but I swallow it down and continue. "There was something that didn't feel right about how our conversation ended and I… I… I just wanted to talk about it some more. And when you were gone, I guess my mind just went to the worst possible scenario."

Edward laughs lightly and then takes my arms from around his waist. One hand comes up under my chin and lifts my head so he can look into my eyes. A slight, crooked smile graces his unshaven, face. The smile reaches his luminous, green eyes making them sparkle. He is happy and he looks absolutely breath-taking. When he looks at me like that everything in the world just falls away and I can see all the love I feel for him reflected back at me… when he looks at me like that I know that _everything_ will be ok.

"What?" I shyly smile back.

"Come with me," he says as he leans down and kisses me sweetly on my lips. He steps to the side still holding my hand and leads me to the couch where he pulls me down to sit beside him. One of Edwards' hands falls to my thigh, while the other is stroking my back. "Talk to me, Love," he urges.

I turn slightly so we are facing one another and stare at my hands that are resting on his legs. "I don't understand why you would think I would EVER cheat on you. Don't you understand how much I love you? How much you and this family mean to me?" I blurt it out before I can chicken out or sugar-coat it.

"I know, Love. I do. But… well…," he pulls his hands away from me and rakes them through his already unruly mass of bronze hair, "Shit… I wasn't going to say anything, because, hell, I know I'm over-reacting. But, I should have just talked to you when it happened and we wouldn't be having this conversation _now_." He rubs his face in frustration and my heart is once again in my throat, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Ok," I whisper, "please…"

He looks at me and sees the obvious panic written across my face. "Oh no, Love. It's nothing like that." He takes my hands into his and my heart continues to pound away inside my chest. "It's just… well, it's just Mike. I ran into him about three weeks ago at lunch and he just said some shit that really got under my skin."

I gasp in relief, "Wha… What did he say?" I couldn't possibly imagine Mike having _anything_ to say to Edward let alone something that could _possibly _upset him.

"He told me how good you looked when you came into the office that Monday."

"Is that all?" I couldn't believe that would make Edward question my fidelity.

"No. He alluded to the two of you going to lunch and then something about phone calls. But, what _really_ did it was when he actually saw _who_ I was having lunch with. You see, Jasper and I were meeting to finalize a contract with a new client and that 'new' client just happened to be Tanya."

"Oh," was all I could say. Tanya is an old family friend, a very beautiful, statuesque family friend. She started her advertising agency about six months ago and needed a web-development firm and immediately brought her business to Edward and Jasper. She is also very openly gay and has been in a committed relationship almost as long as Edward and I have been together.

"Well, _you_ know how me, Jazz and Tanya can be, we were joking around having a good time. She was sitting in the between Jazz and myself and we were just having a great time eating good food and relaxing. At some point, I got up and went to the bathroom and when I did, she kind of blocked my way and said something obnoxious, I don't really even remember what it was, but it made Jazz crack the hell up and then when she finally let me by, she smacked my ass."

I couldn't help but laugh, because that was Tanya. She has done the same thing to all of us at some point or another. She just liked to push boundaries to see what she could get away with. It's just who she is. "Ok…"

Edward interrupts me before I can ask what the big deal is,"Mike must have seen what had happened and when I came out of the bathroom, he ambushed me in the hallway. He started asking me if you knew about my 'girl-friend' and that maybe he ought to say something to you so he could be there to 'help you get through it'. I waved him off and told him to go ahead and talk to you and you would set him straight. Then he pushed past me mumbling something about 'being happy for you to straighten him out' and when I asked him what the hell that was supposed to mean, he just shrugged and smiled and headed into the bathroom and I went back out to join Tanya and Jazz."

I am no longer worried about Edward, but I am very angry with my boss. "He never said anything to me about it and if he had, you're right, I would have set him straight."

"I know that, logically, I know that. But, shortly after it happened you completely stopped communicating with me unless I was standing in front of you asking you pointed questions. And then this morning I thought you said his name as I was waking you up and it scared the shit out of me. I was just so scared that that fucking weasel could have wormed his way into our lives and that I had let him. In the shower this morning, I just realized how stupid I had been to ever doubt you and how stupid I was not to tell you what happened immediately. I just feel like I have been making so many poor choices lately. And now I just want to focus on doing better for me and you and the boys."

I can't help but smile widely at my husband. "I'm glad that's all it was. And YOU should know me well enough to know that I would fuck Tanya, before I'd fuck Mike and you know _THAT_ will NEVER happen!" I laugh out loud, making Edward laugh in turn. "You should have told me about Mike, but I also understand why you didn't. I know I was pulling away from you and you didn't want to add to my angst. But you still should have told me so I could put my stupid boss in his place."

"Edward," I continue, "you know I love you and I will never cheat on you. I'm sorry I get so sullen and pull away like that." I push myself forward so that I am in his lap, "I'm gonna try and talk to you more, I promise." I kiss his cheek and rest my head on his shoulder.

"I love you, too." He leans his head against mine and then continues, "I think we are finally on the same page and hopefully we can keep it here for a while."

"It just takes effort, Baby. Effort by both of us," I reply snuggling in tighter, reveling in his warmth and earthy, uniquely Edward smell.

"I know, Love, and I promise that I will try my best." He wraps his arms around my shoulders and gives me a squeeze.

"That's all I ever _really_ wanted… for you to just try."

"I know."

We sit here for a while not saying anything to each other. We sit here and enjoy being close to one another, enjoy the silence and enjoy the understanding we seem to have reached.

I know things will not always be easy, but I also know that as long as we come together we can make it through whatever _this life_ throws at us.

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a/n: I think there is one chapter left and I hope to have it out mid-week next week... r/l is very hectic right now and my spare time is at a premium... anyways...

Thanks for reading... Please, please, please review and let me know what you think... I really appreciate every word! ;-)


	11. Chapter 11

_I do not own Twilight, but absolutely loved reading it..._

_a/n: thanks for reading..._

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_We sit here for a while not saying anything to each other. We sit here and enjoy being close to one another, enjoy the silence and enjoy the understanding we seem to have reached._

_I know things will not always be easy, but I also know that as long as we come together we can make it through whatever this life throws at us._

* * *

_The Next Monday…_

Edward kisses me and the boy's good-bye as he heads out the door for work. "You know you don't have to say anything to Mike," he teases. I'm watching his khaki-covered, toned ass as he walks in front of me through the laundry room towards the garage.

"I'm sorry, but if that asshole thinks he can say things like that to an employee's husband he has another thing coming. I'm going to call Victoria and apprise her of the situation and see what she would like to do and then go from there."

"You don't have to…" He is walking towards his Volvo with his briefcase in hand.

I cut him off before he can continue, "Edward, if she's not willing to do anything about it, then I can find another job. I can always work for Alice for a while until I can find another job in publishing."

Edward puts his case in the car and turns to face me, "You could always just write."

I walk up to him and kiss his lips, "Baby, don't tease…" I kiss him again, "We just need a little more money in the bank before I can take time off to write."

"I know," this time he kisses me back and pulls me flush to his body. I wrap my arms up around his neck and run my fingers through the back of his soft hair. He pulls back and nuzzles my neck with his nose and mumbles, "have a good day and let me know how it goes," against my neck.

I smile up at him, "Ok, I will." I step back as we say our 'I love you's' and he gets into his car and pulls out of the garage, waving at me as he closes the garage door.

I head back into the house and check the boys' back-packs while they are upstairs brushing their teeth. Nate comes downstairs, grumbling something about Alex getting toothpaste on his arm. I do my best to turn it into a joke and Nate begins to let it go.

At 8:00 am the boys are out the door and on their bikes, making their way to school. Jason is still asleep and I have a few minutes of quiet. I decide to call Victoria and discuss the Mike situation. Heading to the office and I take my cell phone off of its charger and turn the phone on and scroll through my contacts looking for Victoria's number. Considering the time and knowing Victoria isn't usually in her office until 9:00, I opt to call her on her cell rather than leave a message at the office.

The phone rings twice when Victoria answers. "What's up, Cullen?" she jokes, dryly.

"Well, good morning to you, too, Victoria," I dead-pan.

"Yeah, yeah, good morning, what has you calling me this morning?"

"I have a problem that I need to discuss with you."

"With?" she asks.

"Mike," I state simply.

"Can you come in to the office today?"

"Yes, I can. What time? I just need an hour or so and then I can come in anytime this morning."

"Let's shoot for 10:00."

"Ok, I will see you then."

"Bye, Bella," Victoria mumbles as she hangs up her phone.

I head upstairs to wake up Jason and to change into something more suitable to wear into the office. Sweatpants and t-shirt certainly won't cut it.

Once in Jason's room, I pick out some clothes for him to wear for the day and then walk over to his bed and gently rub his back, "Jay it's time to wake up," I croon. He blinks his eyes and then rubs his face against his pillow. "Come on Sweet Pea, we're gonna go see Nana."

Jason smiles and sits up, "Ok," he whispers.

I kiss the top of his curly head. "Your clothes are right here. Get dressed and we'll go."

"K, Mama." He's still smiling as starts to slowly move around his bed.

I walk across the loft to my bedroom and pick-up the phone to call Esme as I make my way to my bathroom.

"Hello?" Esme answers.

"Hi, Mom, it's Bella."

"Hi, Bells. How are you today?"

"I'm good. I'm hoping you wouldn't mind watching Jason for a little bit. I have to go to the office."

"I can watch him for you. What time?"

"I will probably be over in about 20 minutes. Have you had breakfast? I can pick up something."

"Has Jason eaten yet?" Esme asks.

"No. I just woke him up."

"Why don't you just bring him over and I will take him out to breakfast?"

"That sounds great. He will love that."

"Ok, good. So I will see you in a little bit?"

"Yeah, I should be over in 20 minutes or so. Thanks, Mom. I really appreciate you watching him on such short notice."

"Any time, Bella, you know I can't get enough of that sweet little guy," Mom laughs.

"I know, Mom. I will see you shortly."

"Bye, Bells."

"Bye, Mom." We hang up in unison.

As I hang the phone up Jason come into my bathroom.

"I'm dressed, Mom," he chirps.

I smile and tell him, "Alright, Baby, head downstairs and get your shoes on. Mom will be down in just a minute."

"K, Mom," he says as he turns and heads out of the room presumably to do what he has been asked to do.

I go to my closet and pull out a pair of black, pin-striped pants, a white, cotton, button-up blouse, a black vest and a pair of black, four-inch heels. I dress quickly and go to brush my teeth, and do my hair and make-up. My hair has been in a pony-tail most of the morning. So, I pull it tighter and covered my normal rubber band with a more decorative beaded one. I put on basic make-up: powder, blush, mascara, light eye-shadow and some lip gloss and then head back downstairs.

Jason has managed to put on his shoes and is playing with a toy on the couch. "Mom, can I turn on the TV, pleeeease?" he asks.

"No, Baby, we have to go," I tell him. "Can you go and wait by the garage door, please?" I ask gently.

"O-kay," he obeys and after I grab my briefcase and keys I find him standing at the garage door, toy in hand.

"Jay, you are doing such a good job listening today," I smile at him and ruffle his hair.

"Tanks, Mom." He looks up at me grinning from ear to ear.

I open the door and we head to the van. He gets himself buckled into his seat and we head over a few blocks to my Mother-in-Laws house.

When Esme and Carlisle first decided to buy a house in our neighborhood I was a little apprehensive. We had always gotten along quite well, but there was always some type of distance separating us. And I wasn't sure what Esme's expectations were going to be of our time. It turned out all my worrying was for nothing. Both Esme and Carlisle called before coming over and invited us over every couple of weeks or so. Esme helped with the kids when asked, but we seldom had to. She normally had the four of them spend the night once a month and would take one or two of them once a week. All in all, having my in-laws live around the corner has been a dream come true for us.

I pull into Esme's driveway and park. Jason is out of his seat in a flash and jumps out the door as it slides open. He runs up the sidewalk towards the front door and Esme meets him on the porch with arms wide open. She scoops him in her arms and peppers his neck and cheeks with kisses making him giggle, "Nana, stop it," over and over again. She sets him down and takes his hand as I come to stand beside her.

She takes a quick glance at my face and asks, "Everything ok, Bella?" as we step into the foyer.

"Yeah, Mom," I smile, "Everything's fine. Did Edward tell you about what my boss said to him a few weeks ago?"

"He didn't tell me," she says as she shakes her head no. Esme kneels down and whispers something into Jason's ear. He nods emphatically and runs down the hallway heading towards the kitchen. "Carlisle mentioned something about Edward have a 'run-in' with a man that made him question some things. But, Carlisle was really very vague. I think he wanted to keep Edward's confidence."

"Oh. Well, my lovely boss, Mike, saw Edward and Jasper at lunch a few weeks ago with Tanya, and basically, made rude comments about telling me about Edward's girl-friend." Saying it out loud to another person just made it all more frustrating.

Esme's face looked shocked for a moment and then she shook her head, again. Then I heard her say, "Idiot," under her breath.

"I know and that wasn't the worst of it. But anyway, that's why I'm going to the office today. I have a meeting with the Editor-in-Chief, Victoria, this morning to tell her that I cannot work for Mike anymore. She's going to have to assign me to someone else or I will find another job."

"I'm sorry to hear that your boss is such a douche." I can't help but laugh and Esme joins me for a second until Jason comes running back to us carrying his Nana's purse.

"Here, Nana," he holds her purse up in front of him. I can tell from his serious expression and puffed up chest that he is very proud to have successfully retrieved her purse.

"Thank you, Jay," she smiling down at him when she asks, "You ready to go get some pancakes?"

"Yeah!" he yells and starts jumping up and down.

"All right, tell Mommy bye and we'll get going."

Jason throws his arms around my legs, almost knocking me down, "Bye, Momma."

I tell him goodbye and kiss the top of his head and then head out the front door.

It takes me twenty minutes to get to the office leaving me only a few minutes to get to Victoria's office and check in with her secretary, Riley.

"Hello, Mrs. Cullen," Riley says politely, "Please have a seat, Mrs. Hunter will be ready in a moment."

"Thank you, Riley. How have you been?" I ask as I take a seat in a plush leather chair across from Riley's desk. Riley Jones has been Victoria's secretary for years. She is blonde, petite, in her mid-twenties and as sweet as can be. She and I always fall into easy conversations whenever we run into one another.

"I have been very good. Been dating, Brian, for 6 months now and everything is going really well," she smiles and I can see a slight blush come to her cheeks and I can't help but smile back.

"That's good to hear," I nod, "How's work been?"

"Good. I'm actually not going to be a secretary for much longer," she added with a smile spread across her face.

"Really?" I ask completely surprised. "I take it from your expression that this is a good thing?"

"Yes, it really is. Mrs. Hunter is promoting me. I am going to work as her assistant for six to eight months and after that she will work me in to editing."

"Wow! That is great, congratulations…" I want to say more, but we are interrupted by the buzzing of the phone on her desk.

Riley smiles apologetically and picks up the phone. She offers a "Yes, ma'am," and then hangs up. She looks at me and smiles, "Mrs. Hunter is ready for you, now."

I stand, straighten my clothes, thank Riley and step through the door into Victoria's office. She is sitting behind her desk with a smile on her face, "Good morning, Bella. Please have a seat."

"Good morning, Victoria," I reply as I move to sit in the chair in front of her desk.

"How have you been?" She asks. It has been a while since we have spoken to one another. Most of my office contact is with Mike or his assistant, Jessica.

When I regularly worked in the office, Victoria and I would have lunch once a week. We both started ours jobs within a week or so of one another and we quickly figured out we had a lot in common. We were both married and had the same professional goals. Eventually, we started getting together outside of work with our husbands in tow. Edward and James never really became friends. They merely tolerated one another on our behalf. Things really changed when I became pregnant with little E. Victoria just pulled away from me. We stopped going to lunch together and seldom talked. I eventually got up the never to ask her why and she told me that being around me was too hard. She was unable to have children and being around me just caused her too much emotional pain. I didn't understand, but accepted her decision. After that point, we were always more than polite when we saw each other… We just never really saw one another.

"I've been good, Victoria. And you?"

"I'm good, busy." She leans forward, resting her elbows on her desk. "So, what's going on with Mike?" she asks.

"Well, about a month ago he saw Edward and Jasper while they at a business lunch. The initial conversation between the two was polite. But, when Mike saw _who_ Edward was having lunch he cornered Edward, accused him of having an affair, then offered to help me pick of the pieces in not so polite terms." It felt like I spat it all out in one breath.

Victoria raised her eyebrows expectantly, "Is that all?"

_Is that all?_ I ask myself. Evidently, this isn't a big deal to her. "No, it's not. Mike's behavior has made it impossible for me to work with him. I would like to be assigned to someone else."

"Have you talked to Mike about this?" she asked as she sat back in her chair.

"No and I don't really see the point. I don't have anything to say and he doesn't have anything I want to hear," I said indignantly. I am frustrated with Victoria's nonchalance and I can tell that she isn't planning on doing anything to help me.

She scoffs, "You don't want to hear his side of what happened?"

"No," I state flatly. I am trying to not become angry. I shift in my seat, crossing my legs.

"Why is that? Are you afraid of what he might say?" she says in a mocking, almost bitter tone.

I have to laugh at the _'afraid'_ comment and I do… out loud. "I'm definitely NOT afraid of anything Mike, might have to say. I simply do NOT want to converse with someone who would talk to my husband in such a disrespectful about ME." Now, I'm more than just angry, I am insulted. Victoria is insinuating that my husband is lying to me. I stand up and pick up my case, "You know what Victoria, I am sorry I took up your time today. And I just came to the realization that I'm done here…"

Victoria is smirking at me and then cuts me off , "Well, Bella, you should know…"

"I should know WHAT exactly?" I know where she is going with this. There are people in the "business world" that believe you do whatever and whoever you need to in order to get ahead. Those people assume when they see two attractive people together in a slightly less than professional moment that they MUST be having an affair. Mike is one of those people and evidently, so is Victoria. "I should know that my husband and his business partner were having lunch with a very beautiful female client, who happens to be a _long-time_ family friend, who happens to be _gay_? What else do I need to know? I think I have figured out all I _need_ to know. I quit, Victoria. You can consider my resignation effective immediately. All the pieces that I have been editing are with me and I will leave them with Riley."

Victoria is momentarily shocked. Here face is blank, but her eyes are wide. She recovers quickly and smiles, "Bella, don't you think you're over-reacting?"

I think for a moment and measure my words, "On some level, yeah, I am. I'm angry with you and I am completely following my gut right now. My brain tells me that regardless of Mike's, and now obviously your opinions, I know my husband better than either of you could ever dream of. And I have _every_ faith in Edward. My brain also is trying to tell me just to calm down, work for Mike, get my paycheck and move on."

I pause and then move around to stand behind the chair I had just been sitting in. I look at Victoria. Her smug smile is still in place and I don't see the woman that used to be my friend, I see a business woman that doesn't care about anyone but herself. "But, right now… I'm listening to my gut and I refuse to work for a person that has such a poor moral compass."

Victoria is still smiling when she says, "I'm really sorry to hear that."

I turn and walk towards the door. When I grab the knob, I look back at her, "No, no you're not." I shake my head slightly and then continue, "It amazes me that we used to be friends." I walk through the door and shut it behind me not listening whatever may be coming out of her mouth.

I silently set my briefcase on Riley's desk, open it up and hand her four folders and four CD's. I can see Riley look up at me from the corner of my eye. She asks me if everything is ok. I nod and turn to walk out of the office. I only make it a couple of steps before I turn back around.

"Riley?"

"Yes, Mrs. Cullen?" her eyes are pleading with me to tell her what is going on. But I really can't.

"Take care of yourself, Ok?"

"Ok." She looks completely confused.

"Just don't ever compromise yourself. Stay true to what you hold dear." I hope she hears me. She's a smart girl, but someone has to tell her it's ok to stick to your guns.

She smiles sweetly. She looks like she may truly understand what I am saying. "Thank you, Bella."

I take the elevator down and make it through the lobby and out the front door before I hear someone calling my name. I turn around to see Mike walking quickly towards me waving. And I wonder to myself if this day could possibly get any worse.

"Bella!" he half-shouts, "I didn't know you were coming to the office today." He smiles and comes to stand just a little too close to me.

I take a step back and tell him, "Well, Mike, I won't be coming to the office anymore. I turned in my resignation to Victoria this morning."

"Wha… Why would you do that?" he stammers.

"Why? It's funny _you_ of all people should ask that." He looks dumbfounded and I take a step toward him, my jaw is clenched so tight it feels like it will crack. My teeth are clenched and I am growling when I begin, "You see, I can't work for people who assume everyone fucks around. I can't work for people who would disrespect me to my husband. I just can't work for you OR Victoria, any more."

Mike is initially stunned, but then his self-righteous indignation kicks in. His face turns red and his eyes narrow, "You know, maybe you should talk to your…"

"Fuck you, Mike. I know what happened, I know you and I know my husband. Hell, I also know the woman in question. So maybe you should just run along to work and leave me the hell alone." I turned abruptly and walked away. Away from the asshole in front of me and away from a job that I thought I loved.

* * *

a/n: I thought this was going to be the last chapter, but I was wrong. I would like to say there will only be one more, but I'm just not sure.

Thank you for reading and please review and let me know what you think. Thanks!


	12. Chapter 12

_I do not own Twilight, Bella or Edward... but I do love them so! Thanks for reading!_

* * *

"_Fuck you, Mike. I know what happened, I know you and I know my husband. Hell, I also know the woman in question. So maybe you should just run along to work and leave me the hell alone." I turned abruptly and walked away. Away from the asshole in front of me and away from a job that I thought I loved._

* * *

I rush to my car and try to calm down. I call Edward when I begin to relax. He answers quickly, "How'd it go?"

"I quit," I sigh into the phone.

"Wow, I wasn't expecting that. I just thought Vic would put you under someone else."

"Yeah, well, she didn't offer."

"What happened?" he asks.

I go over the entire situation from start to finish with him and when I get to the end I feel comfortable with my decision to quit.

"Are you ok, Love?" I can tell from the tone of his voice that he is trying to gauge my mood.

"I'm fine," I say quietly.

"Why don't you come to the office and let me and Jazz take you to lunch?" he says in an ultra-chipper voice.

"Ok, I will be there in a little bit." We hang up and I just sit in the car for a few minutes, trying to figure out what I want to do next. I decide that I will go and visit Alice after lunch and see if she has anything I can do for a while until I can find something, somewhere else.

I send a quick text to Esme.

10:57am: going to lunch with E. Do you need me to come get J? –B

10:58am: No, we r fine. U OK? – Mom

10:59am: I'm ok… don't have a job… e's trying to cheer me up… txt u when I'm on my way. –B

11:01am: k. have fun. –Mom

It doesn't take me long to drive to Edward and Jasper's office. I park and check my reflection in the mirror. My make-up is fine, but I put a little more lip-gloss on just because it makes me feel better. I take a deep breath and wonder why I am hesitating to head inside. I'm frustrated… no I'm _angry_ at how my meeting went this morning. I truly went into Victoria's office thinking that she would understand why I couldn't work with Mike and shift me to another senior editor. She definitely wasn't the woman I used to know. I shake my head in disbelief, get out of the van, and head into Edward's office.

Lauren, their receptionist, immediately greets me with a smile, "Good morning, Mrs. Cullen."

"Good morning, Lauren," I smile, "I'm meeting Edward for lunch."

"Sounds like fun," she continues to smile. Lauren is very sweet, very flirty but not extremely bright. I'm not saying she's dumb. Actually, she _is_ a capable, dependable worker. Just don't expect her to do much outside of her reception desk. "I will buzz Charlotte and let her know you are on your way back."

"Thanks," I nod as I head past her desk and down the hallway towards Edward's office.

Edward and Jasper's web-development company seems to be growing by leaps and bounds. When they initially started the company _they_ were the secretaries, programmers, developers, analysts, managers, and CEO's… they did everything. Now, they had thirty programmers in five different development groups. There are five separate managers that run each group and they report directly to Jasper. When projects are very important, Edward will directly oversee them and occasionally help program them. Their clients are very diverse, ranging from mortgage banking firms all the way to small businesses. It will be interesting to see if Edward is really capable of working less.

When I get to the end of the hall, I take a right and find Charlotte sitting at her desk, sipping her tea. She sets down her tea and smiles, "Hello, Bella. Go right in. He's ready for you."

Charlotte is a few years older than Edward and I. Her husband, Peter, was Jaspers' college roommate, and when Edward and Jasper were ready to hire employees, Peter was the first person they called. Peter immediately came to work for the guys and when it was time to hire a secretary Peter suggested they talk to Charlotte. At first the guys weren't sure, but once she interviewed with them, they immediately fell in love with her and she has been here ever since.

"Thanks, Charlotte," I can't help but smile at her friendly face, "How have you been? It feels like forever since I have seen you."

"I'm good. Things have been busy here, so that makes my day go faster," she offers me a knowing look, "How are things with you?"

"I take it you heard?" I ask. It wouldn't be unusual for Edward to let Charlotte know what was going on with us.

"Yes, when Edward asked me to make lunch reservations at Teague's, he mentioned something about you quitting your job. Are you ok with that? I know you really enjoy editing."

"Well, It's not that I'm not ok," I paused looking for the right words to accurately convey my frustration, "I'm really disappointed in the behavior of people who I thought were friends. Or at least I thought they were relatively decent people. It was just a really disheartening morning, that's all."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Charlotte stands up and walks around beside her desk and gives me a hug.

"Thanks," I hug her back, "You know we need to get together soon. We all haven't gotten together in quite a while."

Charlotte steps away and smiles, "that sounds great, Bella. Just give me a call and we will work it out."

"Ok, I will."

I walk to the office door, turn the knob and head inside only to find Edward sitting behind his desk, staring intently at his computer screen and typing away on his keyboard. I slowly close the door behind me, all the while keeping my eyes on my husband. For him to _not_ to have noticed me, he must really be concentrating on trying to figure something out. I watch as he scrunches up his forehead, types a few more things, one hand comes up and rakes through his hair in frustration, he licks his lips and then I have to interrupt…

"Ahem…" I smile as I pretend to clear my throat.

He looks up at me and I am completely dazzled as his lips pull up into a slow, sure and sexy grin, "Hey, Love." He hands come to the edge of the desk and he pushes himself back and away. He stands and stretches, pushing his hands up to the ceiling and letting out a _very _familiar groaning sigh. "What?" he asks as he rights himself, still grinning at me.

"Oh… ummm… nothing," I stutter as he makes his way around the desk and over to me. As he walks towards me he slowly looks me up and down, taking me in… making me want to climb up his lean body and…

Once he is in front of me he takes one of my hands and pulls me flush to his body as he raises his other hand to the back of my neck, cradling my head. He rests his forehead against mine and whispers, "You ok?"

I nod my head and then lean in to rest my head against his chest. "When I woke up this morning, I never thought my day would be going like this."

He pulls back and looks down at me, "I know, Love. But it's going to be ok. Really… it is." He smiles at me and then leans down and kisses me gently. He lingers for a moment, opening his mouth slightly and I take full advantage and deepen the kiss. He squeezes me tighter to him and pulls his mouth away from mine while chuckling quietly, "Bella, we have to stop."

"Why?" I whine as I push myself against him. I can feel his body's reaction to mine and I smile.

"You know why," he teases back.

"O-kaaaay," I giggle. I can't help but feel giddy that after all these years, and children that I can still elicit such a strong reaction from such a handsome man. I give him a quick peck on the lips and pull away. Edward let's go of my body, but keeps a hold of my hand and leads me to the leather couch that sits against the far wall.

As we sit down, Edward asks, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," I shake my head, "I really don't. I just need to talk to Alice and see if she has anything I can do."

"You sure?" he prods, knowing my need to vent my frustration.

"We can talk about it later. I'm just disappointed with Victoria. I thought she would have my back on this."

"Love, I'm sorry that she let you down." Edward shakes his head, "But, Victoria hasn't been the same since she took over that position. And James, well, let's just say the two of them aren't very happy with one another anymore."

"He's having an affair?" I ask moderately surprised.

"No, not really, he has a girl-friend," Edward scoffs.

"No… I knew James was a jerk, but I never thought he'd cheat."

"Bells, why do you think I never befriended James?" he asks raising an eye-brow in question.

"Honestly, I never really thought about it," I shrug my shoulders, "I just chalked it up to personality conflicts."

"I think that just about sums it up. I didn't like the way he talked about his wife and his marriage."

"Wow," I sigh as I lean back into the couch, "that really explains a lot. It explains why Victoria thinks the way she does now. Why she would allude to you not being faithful."

"She did WHAT?!" Edward's face instantly turns red and his expression turns angry.

I reach over and take his hand into mine, holding it with one hand and stroking the back of it with the other. "Baby, don't be angry," I said trying to soothe his temper. "She basically said that the reason I why I didn't want to talk to Mike is that I am scared what Mike might have to say about you. And that his version of what happened might be the truth."

"She said that?" he growls. My explanation did not help at all.

"Not, in so many words," I squeeze his hand tightly, "but it wasn't hard to figure out what she was trying to say. Especially now, with what you just told me."

"Love…" he began, but I cut him off.

"Edward, I don't believe her. I don't want to talk to Mike about it because I know his version would be complete bull-shit. I know _YOU_ and I know what happened. Your word is the only one that matters to me." I punctuate by leaning forward and wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing his lips. His hands fall to my hips and I can feel his fingers digging in through my pants. I intend my kiss to soothe him, but it seems to ignite something in him. He kisses in return, and it's powerful and demanding. His mouth is devouring mine and it's all I can do to remember to breath. Gasping, I pull my head away and then he attacks my neck and I can't help but groan, "Edward, please."

He stops and his forehead is resting against my cheek and I can feel him panting for breath. "God, Bella," he groans and wraps his arms around my back, "we just need to get the hell out of here."

"Yeah," I laugh, "I think we do." I push myself away and sit back down on the couch. "Can you get out of here for the rest of the day?" I ask shyly. I'm hopeful, but I did walk into his office only to find him pouring over something.

He smiles at me, "I think I can, but I will have to work from home sometime this afternoon. I have to… fuck…" he shakes his head, "Let me call Peter and see if I can get one of our better programs on it."

I smile widely and my heart soars because I have never in 12 years of marriage heard him say such a thing. "Really?" I whisper.

"Yeah, you've had a rough day and I think you need me right now," he reaches up and gently strokes my cheek, "and I know that I need you right now." He abruptly stands up and kisses the top of my head. "Let me call Peter."

He walks over to his desk and calls Peter. The conversation quickly turns to the details of the problem and who Edward would like to have work on it. And as Edward gets involved in their conversation, there is a knock at Edward's office door followed by Jasper opening the door and peeking his head in the office. He sees me sitting on the couch and he smiles as he steps into the office and comes to sit by my on the couch. "Hey Bells," he looks over at Edward and then back at me, "what's going on?" he asks nodding towards Edward.

"He's taking the day off so that he can spend the day with me." I smile, proud of my husband.

"Wow," he says under his breath. Jasper looks at me and then asks, "we still on for lunch?"

"Ummm… yeah…" I wrinkle my brow, had forgotten that Edward said he and Jasper would be taking me to lunch.

Jasper chuckles quietly, "He didn't tell you he invited us, did he?"

"No. Who is us?" I ask.

"Me and Al, Em and Rose. Is that alright?"

"Yeah, I just thought it was going to be me and Edward. But, it will be fun for all of us to go to lunch. We haven't done that in a while." I smile, warming up to the idea of seeing everyone.

"You sure?" he questions sweetly.

"Yeah," I say with more enthusiasm, "I think I am." I nudge his knee with my foot.

"Ok, good, because Al is dying to see you!" Jasper winks and stands up. "We need to leave shortly to make the reservation," he tells me loud enough for Edward to hear. Edward looks up and nods at Jasper as he says goodbye to Peter and hangs up the phone.

"You ready to go, Love?" Edward asks as he grabs his laptop and puts it in its' case to bring home.

"Yep," I smile, thinking this day might just turn out better than I thought it would an hour ago. Hell, better than I thought it would fifteen minutes ago.

I turn to follow Jasper out of the office when Edward gently grabs my arm and turns me to face him. He is smiling at me and I feel myself melt all over. "Have I told you how beautiful you look today?" he asks waggling his eyebrows at me.

"No, baby," I can't help but giggle at his silliness as he pulls me against his chest and nuzzles my neck.

"You my beautiful wife… look so fucking sexy today," he growls into my ear and then spins me back around so that we are walking out the door.

I giggle again and I feel like a giddy school girl. It feels good. It feels light. And it has been so long since I have felt anything like this.

"Charlotte," Edward smiles, "I'm off the rest of day. If there is anything urgent that needs taken care of please direct it to Jasper and Peter and they will take care of it."

"Ok, Mr. Cullen. Enjoy your day," she winks at me and I can't help but giggle again.

I am smiling ear-to-ear when Edward takes my hand and we head out to meet out friends for lunch.

Edward drives the van and I am happy to be his passenger. "So," I begin, "Jasper told me this is a group lunch…" I am looking at him and I see a smile spread across his lips.

"Yeah," he glances at me and then back at the road, "After your meeting this morning, I thought you could use some _real_ friends." Edward reaches across the middle console and takes my hand into his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

I nod my head in agreement. "At first I was a little annoyed by the idea," I shift in my seat so that my body is slightly turned towards him. "But, after thinking about it I realize I hadn't seen the girls in a while and that it would be nice to have some fun."

We pull into the parking lot of Teague's and Edward parks close to the restaurant and then he looks around the lot. "It looks like we are the first ones here," he grins at me as leans in and kisses me gently on the lips. He lingers for a moment and then I find myself smiling against his lips. "What?" he asks.

I shake my head, hesitating because I'm not sure what I am really smiling about. "It's just… well…," Edward pulls back slightly and cocks his head to the side, "it's you."

"Me?" he questions. A slight look of confusion comes across his face as he leans back towards his seat. I grab his shoulders and attempt to keep him close to me and he stills letting me.

I sigh and then feel brave enough to continue, "I just can't believe how things have changed between us in such a short period of time."

His forehead wrinkles, "I'm sorry, Love. I'm trying to do better." He leans in and gives me another kiss and pulls back looking me directly in the eye. His green eyes are pleading with me, begging me to see that he _is_ truly sorry.

"I know you're sorry. I do." I smile and lean towards him and whisper, "just don't stop trying, ok?"

"I won't," he whispers in return. He fills the tiny gap between us and places a feather-light kiss on the corner of my mouth. I move my mouth towards his, parting my lips slightly. I feel his tongue trace my bottom lip and then he sucks it into his mouth. I wrap my hands around his neck and try to pull myself impossibly closer to him.

_KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK. _

We both startle and look at the drivers' side window, only to see Emmett making a goofy face in the window. "You two planning on getting out of there any time soon?" he yells and then he rubs his belly, "I'm hungry!"

Edward and I can't help but laugh. "You ready, Love?" Edward asks.

"Yeah," I smile. "Baby?" He turns and looks at me, "I love you."

Edward jumps out of the van and runs around to my side and throws the door open. He reaches for my hand and pulls me out. "I love you," he pulls me into his arms, "so much." He lets me go and smiles down at me. "Let's go eat."

He takes my hand and I realize that things are going to be ok. I realize that we have made it through and, hopefully, we will better for it.

Hopefully, we will make the best of _this life_ and everything in it.

* * *

a/n: Thanks for reading ! Please send me a review and let me know what you think… Should this be the end or should I continue?

In case you're interested, I have started another story called Man of Honor--- it's a Navy SEALward story…

Please review!


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